in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

In numerous countries, the

pressure

to own a home rather than rent has become increasingly pervasive.

This

phenomenon can be attributed to societal norms that equate

homeownership

with success. Individuals feel compelled to purchase property as proof of their financial stability and achievement, often regardless of their actual financial means.

Moreover

, there is a prevailing belief that not owning a home reflects poorly on one's financial management skills, leading to social stigma and judgment. From my perspective,

this

societal

pressure

is concerning and highlights an issue that needs to be addressed.

This

societal

pressure

further

fueled by intergenerational expectations. Older generations, who were able to buy homes at a younger age with relative ease, often project the same expectations onto their descendants.

As a result

, younger generations feel compelled to follow in their footsteps, driven by a desire to meet familial and societal expectations. Failure to do so may result in feelings of inadequacy and shame, perpetuating the cycle of

pressure

and expectation.

However

this

emphasis on

homeownership

fails to account for the economic realities faced by today's workforce. In many countries, housing prices have soared to unprecedented levels, far outpacing the growth of wages.

For example

, in Indonesia, the average house price has risen significantly over the past few decades,

while

minimum wage increases have lagged behind. The price of houses has skyrocketed in the

last

50 years, but the minimum pay increase still has a long way to

afford one

Verb problem

show examples

According to

a local digital news

Remove the article

local digital news

a piece of local digital news

show examples

in Indonesia,

currently

Add a comma

currently,

show examples

minimum wage is about 0.30% of the average house price in the capital city,

whereas

around

Add the comma(s)

, around

show examples

1990, it was approximately 0.50%.

This

widening gap between housing affordability and income levels makes it increasingly challenging for individuals, especially those with lower incomes, to achieve

homeownership

. In conclusion,

while

owning a home may be viewed as a measure of success in many societies, the current emphasis on

homeownership

overlooks the economic disparities that exist.

This

condition is negative as it exacerbates inequality and disregards the economic challenges faced by many individuals.

Submitted by desyaf99 on Sun Apr 14 2024

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Task Response

Be sure to directly answer the second part of the question regarding your personal view on whether the situation is positive or negative more explicitly. While you've done a great job explaining your view, ensuring a direct statement on your stance could enhance clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider introducing a wider range of linking devices to enhance the flow of your argument. You've done well in structuring the essay, but varying sentence structures and connectors could improve readability and coherence.

General

Your essay provides a well-structured argument and addresses the major points of the topic effectively.

Task Achievement

You've used relevant examples and detailed explanations to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical flow of ideas and the presence of an introduction and conclusion make your essay cohesive and coherent.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some environmentalists have advocated building wildlife sanctuaries to protect endangered species. Discuss the Advantages and disadvantages of doing this.

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for travellers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the main disadvantage of not doing so?