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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

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It is true that changes are not always welcomed by society and some may show resistance towards alterations in their beliefs.
While
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 respecting social norms and values is the supporting backbone of any culture, the ability to adapt to the ever-changing world has always been one of humankind’s strengths and it has always helped us evolve. One reason that some individuals, especially those who subscribe to a more traditional school of thought, may resent alterations, is the fact that they perceive them as a threat to their cultural identity.
Additionally
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, there is a natural tendency towards protecting the status quo from modifications on an instinctive level.
Although
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 these could be considered valid innate responses, sticking to old merits can stand in the way of social progression.
Furthermore
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, nature is always evolving and the same goes for human societies. If we desire to grow, we should step out of our comfort zone, that has always been the way forward. We learn more about our universe
every_day
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every day
 and our principles in life change
accordingly
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. If you take growing up as an example, you will notice that it is a mentally and physically challenging process, but it results in one’s flourishing in the end. With that being said, cultural modifications better be gradual, pushing any new ideology may result in a backlash. In conclusion, I would argue that
while
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 people should not be forced into submission in the face of changes and their skepticism better be respected, social progress and
aquiring
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acquiring
 new innovations are dependent on a society’s ability to embrace advancements.

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Task Achievement
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating the two parts of the task in a more structured way, explicitly mentioning the reasons for resisting change and the benefits of change.
Task Achievement
Strengthen the supporting points with more specific examples or scenarios that illustrate your arguments, particularly regarding social progression.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, consider adding transitional phrases between your ideas to better guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph strongly relates back to the central question of the essay, which can help emphasize the relevance of each point.
Content
The essay presents a balanced view by respecting the perspectives of those who resist change while highlighting the importance of adaptation.
Language
The language is generally formal and demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, which is appropriate for an academic essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Status quo
  • Skepticism
  • Inevitable
  • Progression
  • Innovation
  • Cultural identity
  • Familiarity
  • Aversion
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Economic stability
  • Global awareness
  • Personal growth
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