Some people think that advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because advertising makes individuals less satisfied with what they are and have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that adverts on TV have several impacts on watchers.
While
some
people
advocate that it might contribute to the financial situation of the
people
, others believe that
advertisements
have
extremely
Change the word
extreme
show examples
drawbacks for observers.
This
essay will discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
views and argue in favour of the letter. On the one hand,
advertisements
made by firms for
customers
might have plenty of opportunities for watchers.
In other words
, when individuals watch TV, they have a chance to compare
products
manufactured by several companies on TV.
For instance
, a person spending a lot of time with devices at home may be exposed by some
advertisements
so individuals are able to determine items that they want.
Moreover
, a myriad of
advertisements
use various technological methods in order to impress
customers
.
Therefore
, viewers are likely to observe
products
that they will purchase in the future.
Hence
, they could decide so as to buy
products
.
On the other hand
, not only do
advertisements
contribute to
people
's financial circumstances, but they can
also
harm their mindsets and moods. Generally, a multitude of
advertisements
might be tricky for
customers
since they can encounter unexpected specifications of the product after individuals buy it.
In other words
, viewers are considerably disappointed by
advertisements
relating to
products
that they bought since they are not satisfied with the product.
In addition
, new
products
are being actively manufactured nowadays so
people
want to alter their product
instead
of the new one.
Thus
,
this
case might bring about mental problems. In my opinion,
advertisements
published on devices lead to huge issues for
customers
,
such
as psychological troubles, and dissapointing. In conclusion,
although
advertisements
possess plenty of positive effects, including observing
products
and comparing opportunities. Contrastly, it has
extremely
Change the word
extreme
show examples
drawbacks for
customers
,
such
as mental disorders and
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
.
Submitted by samedsaysg on

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Example support
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Concluding Statement
Ensure your conclusion summarises your key points more effectively and clearly states your opinion. This helps in reinforcing your argument and leaving a lasting impression on the reader.
Relevance
Pay attention to keeping your argument focused and relevant to the question asked. Avoid general statements that don't directly contribute to your main argument.
Structure
Your essay exhibits a good structure, clearly organizing different perspectives before stating your own opinion, which enhances its coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion, which meets the task achievement criterion well.
Linking Words
The use of transitions to link ideas shows a good attempt at creating cohesiveness in your text.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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