University should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
arguing educational institutions must equally join boys and girls.
However
, all students should
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
opportunities to fully study all specialised. So ,
this
process may be
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
expense for it. On one hand, offering' scholarships should
be originally grant
Change the verb form
be originally granted
show examples
to all genders.
For example
, in some countries, some subjects
learned
Add a missing verb
are learned
show examples
only by men and
this
inconsistent
Add a missing verb
is inconsistent
show examples
with
this
attendance.
Moreover
, if we were not enabling female students
as well as
men,
this
would be
Change preposition
in completely
show examples
completely
Change the word
complete
show examples
contrast with the human rights agreements. So, schools' states should completely
remain
Correct your spelling
retain
show examples
all materials studied by all
people
regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
gender.
On the other hand
, these claimants may be fully cost to those providing teaching services.
For instance
, governmental organs could impose additional taxes
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
rich
people
to support educational purposes.
In addition
, some
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
these are unavoidable costs because some fields
disgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
with
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
nature.
Furthermore
, psychical collages
requiring
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
great
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
, for
this
,
this
incredible idea and unnecessary monetary for states.
To conclude
,
although
there are considerable arguments
opposite
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that all fields learned by women. I agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational chances should be equally divided among all
people
.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider using clearer and more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your main points and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. An introduction, clear paragraph structure, and a conclusion help make your arguments more digestible and enhance the flow of your essay.
General
Review and edit your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Misunderstandings and ambiguities can distract from your main points.
Content
You've shown an understanding of the necessity for equal opportunities in education across genders, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which helps in making your argumentation straightforward.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!