University should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. What extent do you agree or disagree?
Some
people
arguing educational institutions must equally join boys and girls. However
, all students should be have
Change the verb form
have
same
opportunities to fully study all specialised. So , Correct article usage
the same
this
process may be enormous
expense for it.
On one hand, offering' scholarships should Add an article
an enormous
be originally grant
to all genders. Change the verb form
be originally granted
For example
, in some countries, some subjects learned
only by men and Add a missing verb
are learned
this
inconsistent
with Add a missing verb
is inconsistent
this
attendance. Moreover
, if we were not enabling female students as well as
men, this
would be Change preposition
in completely
completely
contrast with the human rights agreements. So, schools' states should completely Change the word
complete
remain
all materials studied by all Correct your spelling
retain
people
regardless their
gender.
Change preposition
of their
On the other hand
, these claimants may be fully cost to those providing teaching services. For instance
, governmental organs could impose additional taxes to
rich Change preposition
on
people
to support educational purposes. In addition
, some argues
these are unavoidable costs because some fields Change the verb form
argue
disgree
with Correct your spelling
disagree
women
nature. Change noun form
women's
Furthermore
, psychical collages requiring
great Wrong verb form
require
efforts
, for Fix the agreement mistake
effort
this
, this
incredible idea and unnecessary monetary for states.
To conclude
, although
there are considerable arguments opposite
that all fields learned by women. I agree that Change preposition
apply
the
educational chances should be equally divided among all Correct article usage
apply
people
.Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
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Task Achievement
Consider using clearer and more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your main points and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively. An introduction, clear paragraph structure, and a conclusion help make your arguments more digestible and enhance the flow of your essay.
General
Review and edit your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Misunderstandings and ambiguities can distract from your main points.
Content
You've shown an understanding of the necessity for equal opportunities in education across genders, which is commendable.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which helps in making your argumentation straightforward.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?