In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Undoubtedly, with
high
development of technology, the Add an article
the high
railway
line has an indispensible
role to play in Correct your spelling
indispensable
the
Correct article usage
apply
contemportary
society. Correct your spelling
contemporary
Whereas
some people harbor
Change the spelling
harbour
abelief
that spending more Correct your spelling
a belief
belief
fundings
to build more Fix the agreement mistake
funding
railway
is necessary, others hold a reverse viewpoint that upgrading the existing transport is the first priority. From my perspective, it is a Fix the agreement mistake
railways
vary
controversial issue, which Correct your spelling
very
deserve
an in-depth discussion, and a conclusion will be drawn.
Change the verb form
deserves
Initially
, improving existing transport is necessory
from the safety aspect. To be more specific, maintaining old Correct your spelling
necessary
rail ways
will cost a huge amount of money to inspect carriages and Correct your spelling
railways
routes
safety every year. Improving the software and hardware is giving Change the noun form
route
a
insurance Remove the article
apply
for
customers. Change preposition
to
Moreover
, upgrading rail ways
is a way to boost more tourists. Correct your spelling
railways
For instance
, providing comfortable
and trendy Correct article usage
a comfortable
railway
station can arractive
more tourists to visit.
On the end of the spectrum, constructing more Correct your spelling
attractive
rail ways
has a vital role Correct your spelling
railways
to
improving the economy.
Shrinking the travel time between cities Change preposition
in
provide
a variety of options for people to hang out on Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
weekend
. It boosts the development of local Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
busiess
, Correct your spelling
business
businesses
such
as local craft and souvenir shops.
Besides
the aforementioned, building new rail way
lines possibly Correct your spelling
railway
increase
job opportunities with the blooming hospitality sector. Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
According to
the statistics conducted by the Ministry of the interior
in Taiwan, the job opportunity was increased Capitalize word
Interior
20
% after the Change preposition
by 20
railway
line from Taiwan to Yian was launched in 2001. Based on such
compelling evidence, it appears that building more new railway
lines is a worthy deal.
In sum, maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
railway
certainly has many mertis
for a city's development. Correct your spelling
merits
However
, I personally believed
that spending more funding to Wrong verb form
believe
building more
faster Wrong verb form
build
railway
lines can bring more connection and advantages for cities.Submitted by bpcivvian on
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task achievement
Provide more specific and diverse examples to support your points. While you've included a useful example related to job opportunities in Taiwan, incorporating a wider range of evidence could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Watch for typos and minor grammatical errors. Although these do not significantly impact your overall readability, polishing your language could enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Consider a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your opinion. You've discussed both sides, but ensuring equal depth and consideration for each argument could make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up a clear framework for your essay, effectively outlining the topic and mentioning the views you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary, which makes your essay engaging and demonstrates linguistic range.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and clearly states your opinion, which is a strong finishing touch to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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