Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As society has been industrialised recently, there is a general trend that people are trying to make society a better place with more benefits. In
this
context, some people say that they should learn more about
business
than about
history
.
This
essay will discuss
this
statement and give the author's opinion. First and foremost, one of the advantages of studying
business
is that we can learn about how to make money. In
capitalist
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a capitalist
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society, making more financial profits will lead to the development of a specific social group or each individual. In
this
sense, studying how we can make it is extremely important for us.
However
, on
this
point, it is apparent that the process of exploring the field of
business
includes the phase of learning
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
of an area where you intend to start your
businness
Correct your spelling
business
,
such
as how a target marketplace has been developed and what kind of stakeholders intervene there.
Thus
, we cannot keep a distance from
history
when we start doing
businness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Secondly
, there are a lot of things that we can learn from
history
. Human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
prone to make the same mistakes as
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they did in the past.
Therefore
, we have to review
history
and try not to make
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
same failure. In conclusion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
is no doubt that the necessity of learning
business
has been increasing nowadays.
However
, doing
business
requires us to have
historical
Correct article usage
a historical
show examples
understandings
Fix the agreement mistake
understanding
show examples
of the marketplace in which
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
plan to start
your
Correct pronoun usage
our
show examples
business
.
Furthermore
, we need to learn tips from
history
to prevent from making
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
mistakes that had already
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
in the past.
From
Change preposition
For
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these reasons, I strongly disagree with the idea mentioned in the first paragraph.
Submitted by m.kiyosu1997 on

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are clear, try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs. Linking sentences at the beginning and end of paragraphs can enhance the flow and help guide your reader through the essay.
task achievement
Include more concrete examples or case studies to further illustrate your points. Rather than general statements, specific details can strengthen your argument and task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines the discussion and presents the author’s opinion succinctly.
complete response
The response addresses both sides of the argument effectively, discussing the importance of both business and history education.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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