Over the past decade, there has been an alarming rise of nearly 20% in the proportion of obese children in Western societies. Analyze the factors that contribute to this concerning pattern
In the past decade, youngsters have faced excess fat in one-fifth of Western countries. There are numerous reasons for
this
, such
as consumption patterns and sedentary lifestyles, and I will also
highlight some possible consequences, including health risks.
To begin
with, one of the initial issues is that teenagers are becoming more and more accustomed to eating fast food since their parents give them money to do so. They choose the simplest and easiest food as a result
. For instance
, junk funk restaurants serving pizza, burgers, and other items are widely accessible and available in western
nations. Capitalize word
Western
Therefore
, they have a higher amount of fat because these snacks are high in fat and low in nutrition. Moreover
, children
’s lifestyles are becoming less prevalent. For instance
, watching television and playing video games for an extended period of time has made them “couch potatoes." Thus
, it has been seen that fast food consumption and sedentary behavior
are two minor causes of childhood obesity.
On top of that, being overweight can have certain detrimental consequences for Change the spelling
behaviour
children
. First,
children
might get chronic diseases such
as “diabetes," which is not usual at such
a young age. Furthermore
, its treatment consists of a specific injection given every day. Second,
according to
medical knowledge, overweight children
have low immunity. For example
, they may be the first to develop a cold or fever when the weather changes. It goes without saying that increasing weight can cause a variety of illnesses.
To conclude
, this
essay has demonstrated that children
's obesity is primarily caused by their calorie-dense diet and inactive lifestyle. Meanwhile, it causes a number of health issues in the early stages of their lives.Submitted by yohanatheresia98 on
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Introduction
Ensure a clear thesis statement is present in the introduction to guide the reader.
Body Paragraphs
Try to provide more diverse and precise examples to support your points.
Coherence
In the development of paragraphs, make sure each idea directly supports the topic and is followed by a specific example or explanation.
Conclusion
When concluding, clearly restate your position or summary of the main points, indicating a clear end to your argument.
Language
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance clarity and demonstrate language proficiency.
Content
You effectively linked obesity in children to specific causes such as diet and lack of exercise.
Structure
The essay structure is clear, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Relevance
You have followed the essay prompt well by discussing relevant factors and consequences of obesity.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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