Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.

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There has been a long debate about whether encouraging adolescents by sending

money

is the most suitable method. From my perspective, the benefits brought by giving cash to youth are of greater significance than other forms of

treats

Replace the word

treatment

show examples

for several reasons.

Firstly

, it is undeniable that sending different gifts

according to

kids' preferences has the most satisfying effect psychologically. To be more specific, if the gift fits the personal interest, children will receive positive feedback on moods, and having a sense of being cared for and worried, which will benefit their mental health development.

However

, it is hard to make satisfactory choices for parents and other family members

due to

the complexity of juveniles' minds and favourites. For

the

Correct your spelling

this

show examples

reason

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

kids may change their attitude towards the same object as time passes. Apart from that every physical object has its own life spin, which means the gifts may be apt to be destroyed over time. Strongly I believe, on the flip side, the benefits of giving teenagers

money

enjoy

Verb problem

are

show examples

significance

Replace the word

significant

show examples

for the following reasons. For one thing, by keeping their own cash, children are able to build financial ideas and are equipped with the skills of allocating

money

resources and making decisions.

Therefore

, producing a prolonged positive effect on development, which will help them in the future. For another, a sense of power and self-esteem may be evoked as parents support them to use

this

money

For instance

, as they are required to think independently, and make judgements, their ability to come up with wise comparisons is improved. In conclusion, considering the benefit of promoting self-thinking and an economic mind of giving cash. I would once reaffirm my position that its merit outweighs its demerit.

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task response

Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to set the stage for the essay.

task response

While relevant examples are present, adding more varied and specific examples can strengthen your argument.

coherence

Avoid repetition of the same points or phrases to maintain engagement and add variety to your writing.

cohesion

Add clear transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas and improve cohesion.

task response

The essay provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Main points are well-supported with explanations, showing a good logical structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Many people think that money is the best gift to give a teenager, but others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your opinion including relevant examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that reading stories form a book is better than watching tv or playing computer games for children to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.