IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information.Far from being beneficial,this is danger to societies.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#technology #access #exchange #information #danger #societies
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Due to
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 the rapid growth of technology , the world has come a long way
therefore
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 the lifestyle of people has changed a lot in the past few decades . It is irrefutable that the internet has become an integral part of our lives . In the midst of change , modern technology allows us to connect to people all across the globe and
also
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 allows us to share information and data related to work . A colossal number of people claim that new tech has a huge impact on human society
while
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on the contrary
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 , some communities Accord that advanced technology is dangerous to societies . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
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 proffer examples to justify my notion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations related to how technology impacts societies, both positively and negatively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a different aspect of the topic. Introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion should be distinctly identifiable.
Task Achievement
Develop your argument further by adding more depth to your reasoning. Explain why you believe technology has a specific impact on society, using concrete examples or data to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a balanced argument by discussing both sides of the opinion if the essay prompt asks for it, and then clearly state your own stance. This makes your position and argument stronger.
Introduction
Introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion on technology's impact on society.
Task Achievement
Acknowledgement of differing perspectives on technology's role in society shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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