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Band 5

In many countries around the wortel, nural people. are moving to cities, so the population inthe Countryside is deereaing. Do you think it is a positive negative development

#countries #wortel #people #cities #population #inthe #countryside #development
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In the modern era, numerous
village
Use synonyms
 residents are relocating
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 urban sides and
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Change the determiner
phenomenon
show examples
 is occurring all over the globe.
As a result
Linking Words
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 rate in rural areas is now reducing. Considering
this
Linking Words
aspeed
Correct your spelling
speed
, there are both positive as well of negative development and both views are
further
Linking Words
 elaborated in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, discussing the bright sides of the given view, countryside individuals will be able to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
numerous facilities which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not available in their area . In
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 way, they can live life easily by utilizing modern technology and gadgets .
Further
Linking Words
 , a
nations
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
 development rate and speed
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
completely depend on
people
Use synonyms
 living in metro
cities
Use synonyms
. The higher the number of
people
Use synonyms
, evolution will occur swiftly. Apart from these, globalization
also
Linking Words
 helps folks in getting jobs.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are very less jobs in
Use synonyms
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
 compared to towns.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 migrate for employment.
Lastly
Linking Words
, children will be able to get
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 quality of education by moving to
a modern areas
Correct the article-noun agreement
modern areas
a modern area
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
these viewpoint
Change the determiner
this viewpoint
these viewpoints
show examples
also
Linking Words
 have many dark sides.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the rate of population in
cities
Use synonyms
 will
Increases
Wrong verb form
Increase
show examples
 which can cause many major problems .There will be very less work opportunities compared to a
larg
Correct your spelling
large
 number of
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 ,large
cities
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 responsible for many criminal activities
such
Linking Words
 as
nobbery
Correct your spelling
robbery
snobbery
, murder and many more. There would be constant traffic jams in urban areas .
Due to
Linking Words
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
, air, water, soil and noise pollution
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
whe
Correct your spelling
the
 increase.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the countryside will
also
Linking Words
 face problems
such
Linking Words
 as if there are fewer or no
people
Use synonyms
 living in the
village
Use synonyms
 that area can become unhabited if left for a long time.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are so many merits of living in
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as access to better facilities and so on, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the migration of
village
Use synonyms
 residents to
cities
Use synonyms
 causes
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of problems
such
Linking Words
 as
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in criminal activities, constant traffic jams and many more .
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 aspect has both positive
as well as
Linking Words
 negative developments.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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general
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct misspellings, grammatical errors, and typos to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments and position on the topic for stronger task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your paragraphs coherently, with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative developments, adhering to the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical and includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, contributing to a clear presentation of ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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