In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
A huge proportion of
national
budget is allocated to providing people with easier access to the Add an article
the national
Internet
. There are several reasons for such
spending and, in my view, this
is not the most suitable way to use state money.
The government understand how the Internet
benefits the lives of their citizens and also
the limitation of access to the network
in a number of places across their countries. The Internet
has proven powerful in dispensing educational services and general knowledge about all aspects of life, not to mention
the fact that it could facilitate communication between even continents. There is no arguing why governments pay much heed to the development of the network
, just as
to boost the Correct word choice
apply
overall
quality of life for their people. Additionally
, perhaps the inaccessibility of the Internet
in many areas, especially disadvantaged ones for which mountainous villages in Vietnam could be brought up as a prime example, has the government draw a conclusion to pour their money into improving the Internet
.
Much as those analyzed points above, I still believe large financial spending on such
a field could, sometimes, be seen as unproductive or even counter-productive. In fact, only half of the world
population has Change noun form
world's
Internet
connection; and even if the government were able to expand the Add an article
an Internet
network
, it would be, I believe, hardly reachable for the rest of the world for the time being. The result would not be equivalent to the enormous amount of governmental funding. Instead
, there are some other areas that authorities could invest in as a pre-requisite complement before supplying a widespread network
. Constructing schools and deploying qualified teachers to areas that are used to the absence of the Internet
and are unaware of the benefits it might offer could be more promising.
In conclusion, there are two main explanations for governments’ special attention to improving the
Correct article usage
apply
Internet
access; and I think this
is not the most optimal way to spend money.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Try to deepen the analysis with more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on diversifying your linking phrases to improve the flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider elaborating further on the counter-argument to provide a more balanced viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Excellent job on providing a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of sentence structure variety and vocabulary to express your ideas.
Task Achievement
You've done well in addressing the prompt directly, supporting your views with relevant reasoning.
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