In many countries government are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why this is happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Several
nation
Change to a plural noun
nations
show examples
are investing
new
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in new
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intelligent technology by
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
governments to better
interract
Correct your spelling
interact
with the public.
This
writer believes that people using
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
government
can help them
being
Verb problem
become
show examples
independent because
of
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apply
show examples
robots and AI will be approached
many
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for many
show examples
main jobs
of
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in
show examples
society. It must
be understand
Change the verb form
be understood
show examples
that many scientists and creators are enhancing more and more state-of-the-art systems
which are
Verb problem
that
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serviced
Wrong verb form
service
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problematic humans in real life.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, it
lead
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leads
show examples
to
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
technologies not only
control
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to control
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damaging
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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on members of society like
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
non-employees, some areas like inner-city slums but
also
the
government
will change the alternative
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
better than in the past.
Moreover
, AI becoming increasingly common
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
people can hire them like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worker better and save time and energy than workers.
For instance
, Pham Nhat Vuong, who
chairman
Add a missing verb
is chairman
show examples
of Vingroup invested
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
development of automotive
assemly
Correct your spelling
assembly
technology in Hai Phong to service residents in Vietnam. Another argument worth considering
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
the using of money from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is very
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
to
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Especially
Rephrase
In particular
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is a council to help their residents turn into
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happier and more
sastisfied
Correct your spelling
satisfied
to do so they will invest money to assist citizens
at anyways
Correct your spelling
in any way
show examples
. Technology can streamline bureaucratic processes, reduce paperwork, and improve the efficiency of public services.
For example
, digital platforms for online transactions can save time and resources for both citizens and
government
agencies.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. An engaging introduction sets the stage for the discussion.
logical structure
Develop paragraphs with a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This helps in maintaining a strong logical structure throughout the essay.
logical structure
To improve clarity and coherence, link ideas and paragraphs using transition words or phrases. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on your examples by explaining how they directly support your point. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas more comprehensive.
relevant specific examples
You have successfully integrated specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the credibility and interest of your essay.
complete response
Your essay addresses the prompt, indicating a good understanding of the task's requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • governmental investment
  • enhance efficiency
  • accessibility
  • responsiveness
  • public services
  • progressive step
  • modernizing
  • quality of life
  • technological advancements
  • data management
  • policy decisions
  • streamlined processes
  • shift towards technology
  • digitization
  • digital divide
  • privacy
  • prioritization
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