It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaur, dodo...) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that the extinction of wild
animals
is a natural phenomenon. The action of preventing it is pointless. I personally disagree with this
view for several reasons.
Firstly
, it is true that the loss of large numbers of animals
is the law of nature, however
, humans are the main factor that causes this
phenomenon. According to
urbanization and industrialization, many forests had been cut off to make room for infrastructure such
as building complexes, factories and amenities. Moreover
, people
are earning economic benefits from harvesting and selling timber. Hunting for horns, for instance
, rhinos were extinct in various countries such
as Vietnam and Africa due to
the over-poaching of local people
. These actions not only lead to deforestation which costs wild animals
their living habitats, but also
food source depletion or even death of many forest's inhabitants.
Added to this
is the fact that preventing animals
from being extinct is critical to our biodiversity which is why people
have to prevent this
from happening. Diverse plant and animal communities can help sequester carbon and retain soil, helping to mitigate the effects of climate change. The loss of animal species could disrupt our ecosystem’s balance which causes the lack of diversity. Since all organism species are living interrelated to each other, the disappearance of one species can directly affect others. For example
, predatory animals
such
as tigers and lions depend on zebras or deer to live. Once these animals
become extinct, predators will die due to
the lack of food sources. To preserve wild animals
, humans can provide a home for some animals
at the edge of extinction such
as zoos or animal sanctuaries.
In conclusion, it is important for people
to save animals
' lives since we are the cause of extinction in these habitats. This
not only balances biodiversity but also
helps humans to avoid tremendous
consequences of climate Correct article usage
the tremendous
changes
in the future.Fix the agreement mistake
change
Submitted by nttung.182 on
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Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument but can be enriched by more directly addressing the prompt with a clear thesis statement.
Sentence Structure
While you've utilized examples effectively, aiming for a more varied range of complex sentence structures can enhance clarity and readability.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates good task achievement, touching on important aspects of the topic. To elevate your score, ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is explored in depth.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical flow between paragraphs is commendable. For an even stronger cohesion, consider more varied transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas.
Argumentation
Your essay effectively argues against the given opinion, providing comprehensive reasons supporting your disagreement.
Supporting Examples
Use of examples, such as deforestation and the impact on animal habitats, effectively supports your points.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing the importance of preventing animal extinction.