In some countries, people think women should have equality with men, in particular, equal rights to work as police officers or serve in the army. Others think women are not suitable for such jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Whether
women
should be given equal opportunity to work in the police force and the military or be restricted because of their incapability bears some consideration. From the writer's perspective, it is essential for women
to be able to take part in the same career as men
since they have important skills for different situations as well as
the same ability to think and learn. despite those who believe that females should not be allowed to do equal tasks as males because of biological differences.
It must be acknowledged that women
can do excellent work in specific roles. In other words
, it is shown clearly when they arrest criminals, while
their male counterparts use excessive force to perform the arrest, women
police officers seem to use words to work out the situation. Correct word choice
and women
Moreover
, in military forces, females become medics and stay at the rear to give medical care for injured military personnel rather than going to the front and fight
. Replace the word
fighting
Therefore
, women
can also
contribute to society by doing a good job in their strong
fields.
Correct word choice
apply
However
, some people say that women
are not suited for the jobs that men
do. This
is based on women
and men
having different biological features, people think that men
are naturally born for combat and face dangerous situations, whereas
women
on the other hand
are created for jobs that require less physical strength. This
may be true, but they can join special training programs in order to build more strength and endurance, improving their physical capabilities, which allows them to do their profession with no restrictions.
In my opinion, females should definitely be allowed to access whatever career they want. This
is because they have the proficiency to learn and special abilities, these are the determinants when people decide to look for a job. With that in mind, women
can participate in whichever job is in their interest with no issues since they have met the requirements. As a result
, the same productivity can be achieved, no matter the gender.
In conclusion, the ability to perform excellently in various positions and the same capabilities are the main factors that need to be considered. Thus
, it is vital for women
to be given many chances in terms of jobs.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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relevant specific examples
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points. This will add depth to your arguments and demonstrate a strong understanding of the topic.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will improve readability and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Well-written introduction and conclusion, both of which frame the discussion effectively.
complete response
You have addressed both views clearly and presented a well-rounded argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.