Currently many people fail to balance their work with other parts of life. What are the causes? Are there any consequences?
In contemporary discourse, the topic of family and
work life
balance has emerged as a focal point of discussion, prompting varied opinions and perspectives. Add a hyphen
work-life
This
essay aims to explore and evaluate different viewpoints on this
widely discussed topic, providing insight into its complexities and implications.
At the forefront of the discussion is the perspective advocating for this
cause is Correct article usage
an increased
increased
in inflation. Proponents argue that covid-19 disaster has affected a lot of businesses and it's hard for people to earn bread and butter nowadays. Replace the word
increase
For instance
, there is a drastic change in interest rate and it is almost doubled than it was back in 2020. The masses are not able to pay their mortgage loan due to
hike
in Correct article usage
a hike
price
of everything so they have to work some extra hours to meet the financial Add an article
the price
demand
of the family. Fix the agreement mistake
demands
Additionally
, the
employers are demanding Correct article usage
apply
for
high productivity Change preposition
apply
at
Change preposition
in
workplace
which in turn, Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
giving
birth to stress and depression, which Wrong verb form
gives
further
strengthens this
viewpoint as breadwinners cannot provide enough time to
their Change preposition
for
family
and kids.
Fix the agreement mistake
families
However
, this
less socialisation has enlarged the issues in family
as couples don't have time to communicate with each other. Correct article usage
the family
As a result
, it is evident that the courts are full with
Change preposition
of
the
divorce applications as habitants Correct article usage
apply
are
failed Unnecessary verb
apply
in maintaining
their Change preposition
to maintain
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
due to
this
problem. Some people are forced to sell their homes and there was a men
in Brisbane who has Change the noun form
man
commited
suicide in the Correct your spelling
committed
last
year due to
the mortgage stress.
In light of the discussion, it is evident that this
work-life integration presents a nuanced landscape of contrasting opinion
. After careful consideration, the weight of evidence appears to Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
favor
Change the spelling
favour
is
time management skills. Correct your spelling
his
This
is substantiated by communicating with your partner and family.Submitted by kaurv083 on
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Introduction
Try to provide a clear introduction that outlines the main points your essay will cover. A stronger thesis statement can guide the reader on what to expect.
Coherence
Work on creating clearer connections between paragraphs for smoother transitions. This helps in maintaining the flow of your essay and enhancing reader understanding.
Conclusion
Incorporate a conclusion that summarizes the key points made in the essay and reinforces your main argument. This addition will provide closure to your discussion.
Supporting Examples
Although you've included relevant examples to support your ideas, try to ensure they are fully explained and directly linked to the question. This strengthens the overall argument of your essay.
Task Response
You've effectively identified and discussed various causes and consequences of the failure to balance work with other parts of life, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay includes pertinent examples that illustrate the impact of poor work-life balance on families and individuals.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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