Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a number of

people

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believe that industrial growth is a key to eliminating

poverty

Use synonyms

from society.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a part of the community claims that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

industrial progression might be the cause of environmental issues and it must be banned.

This

Linking Words

essay intends to analyze both perspectives among my personal and logical perceptions.

To begin

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with, industrial development is one of the most effective solutions for removing

poverty

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Therefore

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, industrialization provides thousands of jobs for unemployed

people

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In addition

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, improvement in industry reduces the average of importing and increases the average of exporting ,

this

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action will strengthen the economy of the state and

people

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For instance

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, China by industrial development has diminished the level of

poverty

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and

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

an economic superpower of the world. On the dorsal side, industrial development will cause some great issues

Change preposition

for

show examples

the environment. Because

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apply

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factories produce a lot of waste material and smoke which can damage water resources and make the air polluted. It can be a big threat to the public’s health.

Additionally

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, some small factories

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

located in the middle of the city make a lot of noise and always disturb

people

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and

people

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want to stop industry from improving because of creating environmental problems.

For example

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, the

people

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who live in suburbs away from industrial areas are healthier in comparison to those who live near industrial areas. In conclusion, industrial growth plays a crucial role in the demolishing of

poverty

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due to

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the mentioned reasons in

this

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essay. It is better that the government focus more on

this

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field.

amotoh10

Apr 15, 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing clear viewpoints and examples. To further enhance your essay, consider including more diverse linking phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.

Task Achievement

Your introduction and conclusion are well structured, providing a clear overview of the essay content and summarizing your personal stance effectively. You could improve by refining your thesis statement to more directly address the prompt.

Task Achievement

Providing more specific, real-world examples to support your claims will strengthen your argument. This adds credibility and depth to your discussion, engaging the reader more thoroughly.

Task Achievement

The essay successfully addresses both views on industrial growth with a clearly stated personal opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've organized your essay logically, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, facilitating an easy and coherent read.

Task Achievement

Using China as an example to illustrate your point shows good effort to include relevant information, supporting your argument effectively.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

industrial growth
poverty
income opportunities
technological advancements
productivity
income inequality
wealthy individuals
corporations
environmental impacts
impoverished communities
sustainable development
inclusive development
alleviation
measures
accompany
concerns

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Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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