Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty. But some other argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, a number of
people
believe that industrial growth is a key to eliminating poverty
from society. On the other hand
, a part of the community claims that,
industrial progression might be the cause of environmental issues and it must be banned. Remove the comma
apply
This
essay intends to analyze both perspectives among my personal and logical perceptions.
To begin
with, industrial development is one of the most effective solutions for removing poverty
. Therefore
, industrialization provides thousands of jobs for unemployed people
. In addition
, improvement in industry reduces the average of importing and increases the average of exporting , this
action will strengthen the economy of the state and people
. For instance
, China by industrial development has diminished the level of poverty
and became
an economic superpower of the world.
On the dorsal side, industrial development will cause some great issues Wrong verb form
has become
to
the environment. BecauseChange preposition
for
,
factories produce a lot of waste material and smoke which can damage water resources and make the air polluted. It can be a big threat to the public’s health. Remove the comma
apply
Additionally
, some small factories are
located in the middle of the city make a lot of noise and always disturb Unnecessary verb
apply
people
and people
want to stop industry from improving because of creating environmental problems. For example
, the people
who live in suburbs away from industrial areas are healthier in comparison to those who live near industrial areas.
In conclusion, industrial growth plays a crucial role in the demolishing of poverty
due to
the mentioned reasons in this
essay. It is better that the government focus more on this
field.Submitted by amotoh10 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, providing clear viewpoints and examples. To further enhance your essay, consider including more diverse linking phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are well structured, providing a clear overview of the essay content and summarizing your personal stance effectively. You could improve by refining your thesis statement to more directly address the prompt.
Task Achievement
Providing more specific, real-world examples to support your claims will strengthen your argument. This adds credibility and depth to your discussion, engaging the reader more thoroughly.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully addresses both views on industrial growth with a clearly stated personal opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've organized your essay logically, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, facilitating an easy and coherent read.
Task Achievement
Using China as an example to illustrate your point shows good effort to include relevant information, supporting your argument effectively.