in the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Work
used to mean going to an office but now,
due to
improved technology
such
as computers and smartphones,many of us can do our jobs from
home
.
This
change has some advantages and disadvantages . Working from
home
has become a significant innovation for many people . One of the greatest benefits is that you don't have to travel to
work
.
This
indicates you can start working right away
in addition
to having more time for yourself or your family. It
also
saves money because you don't have to pay for a bus or gas for your car. Another important thing is that you can
work
when you desire. Some people
work
at a higher quality in the morning and some at night.At
home
, you can settle on what's best for you.
Also
, you might
work
better for the reason that you don't have other workers around to distract you.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
there are some disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issue that are problems. When you
work
from
home
you miss talking to other people at
work
.
This
problem leads to
lowers
Correct your spelling
lower
show examples
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
public relations. It can make you feel alone. Another issue is that it can be tough to talk to your boss or coworkers. When you're not in the same place, you are unable to just walk over and ask a question from your boss and have a conversation at the present time. You have to send a message and
attend
Verb problem
wait
show examples
for a response.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
the end,
while
remote
work
offers numerous benefits
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance you have more comfort in your situation
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
you want.
Also
, it can cause harm to us,
for example
, it can affect our social relations and make us disappointed.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You've tackled the topic well, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of working from home. For further improvement, consider balancing your points by expanding on how these aspects specifically impact people's work efficiency and personal life.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea and use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
For a higher band, provide more detailed examples to support your arguments. Real-life situations or statistics could strengthen your points and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Great job on identifying and discussing both advantages and disadvantages of working from home. Your balanced view is crucial for a good essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effective, clearly setting up your essay and summarizing your main points.
Coherence & Cohesion
You managed to provide a logical structure that helps the reader follow your argument easily. Each paragraph focuses on one aspect, which aids in understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: