One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? #consequence #care #people #life #expectancy

#consequence #care #people #life #expectancy #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is utterly undeniable that improved medical care has

help

Change the verb form

helped

show examples

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

live longer and life expectancy is extending.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has both strengths and

weakness

Fix the agreement mistake

weaknesses

show examples

, from my perspective, the latter

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more dominant.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the increase in

people

Use synonyms

's life expectancy has several disadvantages .

Firstly

Linking Words

, the planet will be overburdened with humans . In

particularly

Change the word

particular

show examples

, the elderly

population

Use synonyms

will dominate society over time as the old now live longer and the young will grow old.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

large of

number

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

the earth will lead to

shortage

Add an article

a shortage

show examples

of accommodations and lands which is impossible to expand.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the increase in the elderly

population

Use synonyms

will cause

the

Correct article usage

show examples

lack of balance in age groups. There will be a small

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

number

Change the article

a number

the number

show examples

yound

Correct your spelling

young

individuals who can be

responible

Correct your spelling

responsible

for developing the world.

Lastly

Linking Words

Use synonyms

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

would be exacerbated in the future

due to

Linking Words

the alarming rise in the

number

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

middle-age

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

show examples

and elderly.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the innovation of medical care that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

people

Use synonyms

livenlonger

Correct your spelling

live longer

and expand life

expenctancy

Correct your spelling

expectancy

also

Linking Words

has a

number

Use synonyms

of advantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, because

cruel

Add an article

the cruel

show examples

situation

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these day

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

people

Use synonyms

healthe

Correct your spelling

heal the

health

healthy

suffer

Change preposition

from a

show examples

lot of diseases

frorm

Correct your spelling

from

both external and internal factors.

For example

Linking Words

, the pollution from environment has

negative

Add an article

a negative

show examples

influence on physical health

while

Linking Words

the pressure in

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

adversely impacts

Change preposition

apply

show examples

menatl

Correct your spelling

mental

health. All of them

Linking Words

finally is

Verb problem

are

show examples

not good for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

help from improved medical

acre

Correct your spelling

care

show examples

can handle it to some extent. With all of the aforementioned theses and explanations, the conclusion is self-evident. I believe that the explosion of the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population

Use synonyms

has both downsides and upsides;

however

Linking Words

, the limitations

Change the verb form

are

show examples

far more dominant.

Submitted by lethithut123 on Mon Apr 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to use a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language skills.

Task Achievement

Focus on developing your ideas more fully with detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.

General

Be attentive to small grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that can detract from the clarity of your message.

Task Achievement

Consider balancing the discussion between advantages and disadvantages to provide a more nuanced argument.

Task Achievement

Your essay clearly addresses the prompt and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is excellent for task response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Language Use

You've utilized a good range of vocabulary to express your ideas.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
medical care
quality of life
manageable
curable
economic strain
aging population
social security
workforce challenges
sustainability
overpopulation
environmental issues
standards of living

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, give details of the course you took at the university explain why you recommend the university give some advice about how to apply
I hope you are doing well. I was super excited when heard that you are continuing your study at The University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada. I am writing this letter to provide you a few details about Biological Science.
7
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?
In recent years, the popularity of cosmetic surgery has soared, with an increasing number of individuals opting for surgical procedures to enhance their physical appearance. The primary reason for people choosing to alter their appearance is societal attitudes surrounding beauty standards. In light of this, I contend that this trend has adverse effects on an individual’s physical and psychological welfare.
6
band
Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?
It is generally believed that we produce more garbage in the environment than we can dispose of and we litter too much, developing a "throw-away" culture. I fully agree with this matter due to the huge costs of modernizing the way we dispose of our rubbish. In order to make a clean environment, we must make more biodegradable materials as well as foster online shopping to avoid producing garbage.
6
band
In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the global surge in crime rates has sparked urgent discussions on effective strategies to combat this pressing issue. While some advocate for a heavy-handed approach focused on bolstering law enforcement and increasing incarceration rates, others argue that addressing the root causes of criminal behavior is essential for long-term success. I firmly agree with the latter perspective, as I believe that tackling factors such as poverty and limited educational opportunities is paramount in addressing the complex web of issues that contribute to criminal activities.
8
band
FILM STAR AND OTHER CELEBRITIES SOMETIME SAY THEIR VIEW IN THE PUBLIC ABOUT TOPICS THAT DOES NOT RELATE TO THEIR PROFESSION IS IT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING GIVE REASONS TO YOUR ANSWERS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLES TO
Nowadays it is very commonly seen how real-life stars and celebrities opine about almost every affair which may not be relevant to their career and stream of the profession and has caused a major impact on the people who look up to them. I believe it is a negative development, and in the following paragraphs, I shall propagate my viewpoints on this phenomenon.

One of the consequence of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? #consequence #care #people #life #expectancy

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

FILM STAR AND OTHER CELEBRITIES SOMETIME SAY THEIR VIEW IN THE PUBLIC ABOUT TOPICS THAT DOES NOT RELATE TO THEIR PROFESSION IS IT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING GIVE REASONS TO YOUR ANSWERS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLES TO