Some people believe that older people bring benefits to the companies while others say that youngsters bring more. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #companies #youngsters

People

seem to have contradictory views regarding whether older

people

hold mere advantages

than

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over

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young citizens in the companies. I believe that the former point of view is more convincing and applicable in most contexts. Some

people

advocate that elderly

people

have better positives. In

such

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apply

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an age stage, they can fully appreciate the diversity and richness of different cultures

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apply

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and can adopt the perspective of the other party when encountering problems. They think about problems from multiple perspectives

can

Correct word choice

and can

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improve their problem-solving skills and creativity, which

Correct your spelling

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good for the corporation. Multi-dimensional thinking can

also

enhance their critical thinking ability, and they will no longer adopt a simplistic or biased view of problems, even create more values and benefits for their

work places

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workplaces

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. Other

people

support the idea that youngsters bring more merits to the companies. The first benefit is that it exposes studios to different opinions and

experience

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experiences

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, which

situmlates

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stimulates

simulates

they

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them

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to be more active and learn more new things. They

also

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are

show examples

motivated to challenge existing limits of norms and values, and even generate breakthrough innovations and achievements. In summary, from my viewpoint, both alternatives have some benefits, but in the majority of scenarios, the former is a more desirable option for individuals. I think that accepting benefits from every age group for job spaces is not only a moral duty

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apply

show examples

but

also

a wise investment for the future of humanity.

Submitted by cathyielts22 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Grammar

Remember to maintain consistency in your tense usage throughout the essay to ensure clarity.

Content Detail

To enhance your argument, include more specific examples illustrating the advantages of both older and younger employees in companies.

Spelling

Avoid typos and spells check your essay to improve its readability and professionalism.

Sentence Variety

Consider varying your sentence structure more to showcase a wider range of language skills and keep the reader engaged.

Task Response

You've effectively discussed both views on the topic, showing a balanced understanding.

Coherence

Your essay structure is clear, with a good use of paragraphs to separate ideas.

Conclusion

You provided a reasoned conclusion that reflects the discussion in your essay, effectively encapsulating your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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people who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. what are the most significant of these problems? how can these problems be tackled?

‏Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The pie chart below shows the main reason why agriculutural land become less productive. The table shows how these causes effected three regions of the world during the 1900s