In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

#world #people #food #products #animals #medicine

In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or

products

from

animals

such

as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement? In the contemporary epoch, part of society believes that in the future

humans

will not acquire the

products

prepared by

animals

while

skeptics

Change the spelling

sceptics

show examples

do not agree with

this

matrimonial. I wholeheartedly disagree with the statement because the survival of

humans

is extremely dependent on

animals

for proteins and medicines.

This

essay will delve into the reasons behind my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with, the most predominant reason is the presence of the relentless amount of proteins in the meat of

animals

like chicken, lamb, and beef are highly rich in proteins and minerals. Individuals who have been eating meat since childhood, cannot imagine living without it because it is extremely hard for their body to live on vegetarian food.

Moreover

milk

is another source of energy

that is

grabbed from

animals

Milk

is used to prepare different types of tea and coffee,

along with

this

milk

also

used for preparing pure butter, ghee, and paneer. These are

also

rich sources of minerals and vitamins.

Furthermore

, some medicines are made from aminal skin which cures health problems enormously fast, and I think there is no other substitute available for the medications.

Thus

, if

humans

stop utilizing animal

products

, their lifecycle might get a hard hit. Vitamin A and vitamin C are obtained from animal produce and there has been no replacement found by scientists for these. If an individual gets malaria, the remedy for

that is

goat

milk

and kiwi but goat

milk

is the fastest solution for that

due to

its enriched properties.'

To conclude

, as per the extrapolates mentioned above,

humans

can't survive without animal

products

at the moment because they are dependent on them.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Tue Apr 16 2024

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Language use

Try to expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of synonyms, especially for words repeated throughout the essay, such as "animals", "products", and "proteins". This will make your argument more compelling and your language more varied.

Task response

To enhance the clarity of your argument, consider directly addressing potential counterarguments. This will show a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen your position.

Content accuracy

Ensure the accuracy of your examples and facts, particularly when discussing the scientific benefits of animal products. Double-checking these details can enhance your credibility.

Grammar and complexity

Consider a more varied sentence structure to improve the readability of your essay. Mix simple, compound, and complex sentences to demonstrate your linguistic skills more effectively.

Introduction/Conclusion

You have a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main argument, effectively framing your essay.

Coherence

Your essay has a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow your argument.

Use of examples

Provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

307 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainable
ethical alternatives
global demand
genetic engineering
synthetic biology
plant-based diets
environmental footprint
veganism
biotechnology
cultural sensitivity
economic viability
lab-grown meat
synthetic materials
global infrastructure
consumer habits

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In the modern world, people no longer need to use food or products from animals, such as medicine and clothing. Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that life in a big cities is dangerous for health. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kind of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

8.With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched places. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

With fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?