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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of junk food consumed by Australian teenagers from 1975 to 2000
#line #changes #amount #type #junk #food #australian #teenagers
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The line graph represents
amount
Add an article
the amount
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 of changes and
type
Correct article usage
the type
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 of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 consumed by Australian teenagers
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 1975 and 2000. Type of
junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Pizza and Hamburgers was increasing
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 1975 and 2000. Fish and Chips was discreasing
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 1975 and 2000. In 1975, Fish and Chips was 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. for eaten per
year
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it was
discreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 to 1980,
times
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 near by 80 per
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it was
slight
Change the word
slightly
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increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
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 in 1985.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it was
subsantial
Correct your spelling
substantial
discreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
increasing
 in 2000.
Junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Pizza and Hamburgers was increasing
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 1975 and 2000.
Junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 of Pizza in 1975 was
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 0
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it was
subsantial
Correct your spelling
substantial
substantially
 increasing to 1995 about 80
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Junk
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
 of Hamburgers in 1975 was
near by
Correct your spelling
nearby
show examples
 0
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it was
subsantial
Correct your spelling
substantial
substantially
 increasing to 2000. In 2000, it was increasing for 100
times
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words junk, food, times, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Spike
  • Dip
  • Steady growth
  • Decline
  • Plateau
  • Consumption patterns
  • Fast food
  • Processed snacks
  • Health consciousness
  • Marketing influence
  • Demographic factors
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Nutritional education
  • Epidemiological impact
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