There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Young individuals are persuaded to perform better in academic work in today's context, part of society commonly believes that academically non-related areas
such
as physical
education
and
cookery
should be removed from the
school
curriculum to accommodate and prioritise academic work.In my opinion,
this
leads to an unhealthy young generation with a lack of practical
skills
to strive in society.
Thus
,
this
writer wholeheartedly disagrees with the captioned statement. First and foremost, a lack of
skills
and knowledge in physical
education
prone the individual with less interest in exercises and less physical activity. Lack of exercise leads the individual into obesity and more prone to non-communicable diseases, who ends up as an unhealthy individual.
For instance
,
according to
research done by the University of Peradeniya 8 years ago, more than 20 % of
school
children under age 12 had type 2 Diabetes mellitus, and they pointed out the fact, that children who had the disease did not participate in any sports activities in the
school
, and
this
key research led the Sri Lankan authorities to make physical
education
as a compulsory subject to ordinary level students in Sri Lanka.
Hence
physical
education
at a young age is very important.
Furthermore
,
subjects
like
cookery
can cultivate life
skills
and career opportunities for youngsters. In the modern contemporary era,
education
should focus on the independence of the student,
while
vocational
subjects
help in doing so. Other than that, it can create future pathways for job opportunities in the
cookery
industry, for those who are not interested in academic careers.
For instance
, the famous chef Pabilis Silva once told in a TV interview that he understood his passion for cooking from his
school
cookery
teacher.
Thus
, vocational
subjects
have a huge impact on one life. In conclusion, theoretical and academic learning is important for the young generation , but
subjects
like physical
education
and
cookery
help to have better health in adult life
while
having good social and career
skills
to strive better in society.
Hence
,
this
writer has a strong notion that non-academic
subjects
should be taught at the
school
.
Submitted by dinaka0001 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

style
Your essay presents a strong argument, effectively arguing against the removal of non-academic subjects from the school syllabus. To further enhance your essay, consider diversifying your sentence structures and employing a wider range of vocabulary for even greater impact.
content
You've nicely integrated examples to support your viewpoints, which adds credibility to your arguments. For future essays, you might explore more varied examples from different contexts to broaden the perspective.
structure
Your essay structure is commendable, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your stance. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, providing clearer topic sentences if needed.
content
Effectively argued against the removal of non-academic subjects, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic.
examples
Good use of real-life examples to support points, enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.
structure
Well-structured essay with a logical flow of ideas, making your argument easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: