You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, a few portion of young
people
play classical
music
or go to classical
music
events. We can analyse the reasons and the
possibile
Correct your spelling
possible
solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
fact, by concentrating on the interests of young
people
in 2024.
Firstly
,
this
could depend on a change in musical taste for the new
generation
.
Music
is a really fast market,
this
means that every
generation
has
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own type of favourite
music
, which usually
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
from one
generation
to the other.
Moreover
, the musical sector is very affected by technology and trends of the moment
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
young
people
. Social media played a crucial role, sponsoring many rap and techno artists, that became the new idols of young
people
. In fact, starting from 2000,
these new kind
Change the determiner
this new kind
these new kinds
show examples
of songs, increased a lot in popularity
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
young
people
, becoming the most listened
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
played
music
in the majority of countries.
Secondly
, I do not think that young
people
should be encouraged to attend and learn more about classical
music
.
This
is a type of art that transmits feelings and emotions to humans,
this
means that its choice should be completely free.
However
, some measures could be taken in the school sector, where playing a classical instrument should be
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
to everyone.
This
could lead young
people
to keep listening to the trends of the moment and, at the same time, to discover past cultures through a musical education. In my opinion, it is absolutely normal that every
generation
has
his
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
own taste regarding
music
, singers and instruments. The most important thing is to respect every taste and to share them with everyone.
Submitted by silvestriandrea.it on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Make sure to explore both sides of the argument when the question asks for it, to fully cover the task's requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to incorporate a wider range of sentence structures and vocabularies to enhance the complexity of your essay.
Task Achievement
Adding more specific examples could help strengthen your arguments and provide clearer support to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have done well in structuring your essay, with clear paragraphs each dedicated to specific points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction neatly presents the topic, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, which anchors the essay nicely.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: