In conclusion, a lot of governments are investing money in new technology as the ratio of criminals is increasing. As a consequence, this action can bring about positive changes and this is a suitable way to use government money
#conclusion #governments #money #technology #ratio #criminals #consequence #action #changes #government
In light of the proliferation of
technology
, it may indeed be true to claim that mechanic
Replace the word
mechanical
equipments
are increasingly becoming the focus of Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
to
the globe. Change preposition
around
This
is due to
the high demand of residents for a better quality of life. This
writer contends that the increasing rate of criminal
is the reason for the expenditure of Replace the word
crime
government
and this
is a suitable way to use money
.
It is vital to understand that a significant benefit of technology
in people’s lives is the modernization of the healthcare industry. Gone are the days of long lines in the outpatient ward and hours of waiting for a doctor's consultation. Patients can schedule a hospital visit using their mobile phones and check if their doctor's office is open. This
way, hospital procedures are also
faster and more efficient. For instance
, healthcare document scanners are now used by many medical facilities to digitize old medical files for easier access. By moving printed documents to a digital system, any healthcare staff can conveniently access a patient's record with a computer. It also
lessens the risk of misplacing or losing a patient's records since all information will be stored safely on a web application.
Not withstanding
the reality of offence, it prompts Correct your spelling
Notwithstanding
government
to enhance the security system. Correct article usage
the government
For
this
reason, financial crises around the world are becoming more serious. As a result
, many people will run into difficult situations, unemployment and have to steal money
or refreshments to cover their expenditures. Furthermore
, the global political situation is becoming more and more stressful, therefore
, governments can apply up-to-date technology
such
as cameras to observe and save their citizen. For example
, in Tan Son Nhat airport, a crucial place where a lot of passengers visit every day, The government
has applied a lot of cameras, checking gates , and x-ray machines to save people from terrorism.
In conclusion, a lot of governments are investing money
in new technology
as the ratio of criminals is increasing. As a consequence
, this
action can bring about positive changes and this
is a suitable way to use government
money
.Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
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Structure
Ensure a clear and consistent structure throughout your essay, with distinct paragraphs each addressing a single main idea.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, use a variety of linking phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Response
It's essential to directly address the question throughout the essay to maintain a strong focus on the task requirements.
Examples
Integrate examples more seamlessly within your arguments, ensuring they directly support your main points.
Language
Consider employing a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency.
Introduction/Conclusion
You've effectively included an introduction and a conclusion that encapsulate the main points of your essay, contributing to a good overall structure.
Examples
The essay provides specific examples, like the implementation of healthcare technology and security measures at Tan Son Nhat airport, which strengthens your argument.
Coherence
Your essay presented a logical flow of ideas, enhancing its readability and cohesiveness.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...