In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?
In recent years, governments around the world
are
increasingly Verb problem
have
investing
in new technology in other to control the public. It happens because of higher demand for Wrong verb form
invested
efficiency
, it is also
appropriate to spend money on machines because if
it can serve the public better.
It must be understood that businesses and factories need to be productive and produce Correct word choice
apply
higher quality
products. Add a hyphen
higher-quality
This
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
higher
demand Correct article usage
a higher
in
Change preposition
for
efficiency
and governments need to find a new method for
production. New technologies Change preposition
of
such
as robots, AIs and machines are mostly responsible for repetitive tasks, reduce
paperwork and Wrong verb form
reducing
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
efficiency
. Robots can be programmed to do these tasks and work. As a result
, they can save time and enhance quality. For instance
, in Japan, there is a robot called “Luna”. It is machine
Correct article usage
a machine
use
in car factories, Change the form of the verb
used
can
assemble faster than normal workers. Correct word choice
and can
As a result
, it saves time and increase
Change the verb form
increases
efficiency
.
This
can be an appropriate use of money,
because it can give the public better service. Recent technology provides a fascinating Remove the comma
apply
experience
to customers’
, Change noun form
customers
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
learning
Add an article
the learning
experience
and can increase
the companies’ profit. For example
, the new museum in the USA has a hologram exhibition, where visitors can interact and learn about it. It provides an exciting experience
to the customers and will definitely increase
the profit.
To sum up
, new technology is invested because
of Change preposition
in because
high
demand Correct article usage
the high
in
Change preposition
for
efficiency
and the governments want to find a new method to produce. It can also
give users better service and provides
an exciting Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
experience
.Submitted by khoi11nk11e on
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task achievement
Consider expanding on how these technologies specifically benefit public services beyond factories and museums to fully address the prompt.
linguistic range
Try to include a wider range of sentence structures and more varied vocabulary to enhance clarity and interest.
coherence
To improve coherence, use more linking words or phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to another.
conclusion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main points of your argument more distinctly, reinforcing your stance on the use of government money.
example usage
You provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the robot in Japan and the hologram exhibition in the USA, which makes your argument more persuasive.
task response
The essay directly addresses the questions posed by the topic, showing a good understanding of the task requirements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
