People often try to look younger than they really are. Do you think that this is a good thing/bad thing? What reasons do people have for doing this?
Healthy
diet
, gym Fix the agreement mistake
diets
routine
and Fix the agreement mistake
routines
beauty
treatment
have Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
became
more and more popular these days and have been heavily promoted by influencers. These trends essentially Change the verb form
become
encoraging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
to follow certain methodologies in order to achieve a younger appearance
. From my perspective, these trends are created for commercial purpose
and will bring Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
serveral
negative impacts to Correct your spelling
several
the
society.
The general public often Correct article usage
apply
feel
scared about getting old, especially when they experience sudden body changes Change the verb form
feels
such
as having grey hair and wrinkle
. Fix the agreement mistake
wrinkles
Beauty
advertisement
amongst all social platforms tend to connect Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
beauty
and young appearance
as their marketing strategy to promote their products or services. In order to tackle the fear of aging
, Change the spelling
ageing
people
start pursuing younger
physical Correct article usage
a younger
appearance
. As an example, a famous cosmetic brand claimed that the cream they are selling can effectively reduce Fix the agreement mistake
appearances
wrinkle
in order to slow down Fix the agreement mistake
wrinkles
aging
so that the buyers can stay young forever. Uncomfortable feelings of physical changes once they step into middle Change the spelling
ageing
age
is
the major reason Correct subject-verb agreement
are
of
Change preposition
apply
people
trying
to look younger compared to their actual Wrong verb form
try
age
.
Despite that
fact that doing exercise and Correct determiner usage
the
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
healthy
diet is doing great benefit to the body, Add an article
a healthy
people
are ending up lose
their confidence as they do not accept their current state. Change the form of the verb
losing
For example
, it is an undeniable fact that it will be harder for people
to lose weight as they get older due to
the decline in metabolism. Hence
, it is quite difficult for middle age
people
to stay at
perfect fit compared with when they Correct your spelling
a
are
young. Wrong verb form
were
However
, people
tend to judge themselves and believe they are not good enough because they have a small belly, which is pretty normal and healthy. By over pursuing
unrealistic Add a hyphen
over-pursuing
beauty
goals, health and mental issues may arise and create a negative impact to
Change preposition
on
the
society.
In summary, Correct article usage
apply
people
attempt to maintain a younger look in comparison Change noun form
people's
of
Change preposition
to
thier
true Correct your spelling
their
age
is a result of misleading advertisement
and may lead to health and wellness concerns. I Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
belive
that true Correct your spelling
believe
beauty
not
only about physical Add a missing verb
is not
appearance
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
related to accepting and feeling Add a missing verb
is also
confidence
Replace the word
confident
of
Change preposition
in
themselves
.Correct pronoun usage
oneself
Submitted by jennygo64 on
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Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance structure and clarity.
Language Use
Using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary can make your arguments more compelling and improve coherence.
Content
Integrate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This can help improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
Argumentation
Avoid sweeping generalizations. Use more nuanced language to acknowledge exceptions and complexities in your argument.
Content
You effectively addressed both the reasons behind the desire to look younger and its implications, offering a balanced and complete response.
Structure
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of paragraphing, with distinct sections for different points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.