People often try to look younger than they really are. Do you think that this is a good thing/bad thing? What reasons do people have for doing this?

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Healthy
diet
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diets
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, gym
routine
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routines
show examples
and
beauty
treatment
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treatments
show examples
have
became
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become
show examples
more and more popular these days and have been heavily promoted by influencers. These trends essentially
encoraging
Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
to follow certain methodologies in order to achieve a younger
appearance
. From my perspective, these trends are created for commercial
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
and will bring
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
negative impacts to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The general public often
feel
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feels
show examples
scared about getting old, especially when they experience sudden body changes
such
as having grey hair and
wrinkle
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wrinkles
show examples
.
Beauty
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
amongst all social platforms tend to connect
beauty
and young
appearance
as their marketing strategy to promote their products or services. In order to tackle the fear of
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
,
people
start pursuing
younger
Correct article usage
a younger
show examples
physical
appearance
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appearances
show examples
. As an example, a famous cosmetic brand claimed that the cream they are selling can effectively reduce
wrinkle
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wrinkles
show examples
in order to slow down
aging
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ageing
show examples
so that the buyers can stay young forever. Uncomfortable feelings of physical changes once they step into middle
age
is
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are
show examples
the major reason
of
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apply
show examples
people
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
to look younger compared to their actual
age
. Despite
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
fact that doing exercise and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet is doing great benefit to the body,
people
are ending up
lose
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losing
show examples
their confidence as they do not accept their current state.
For example
, it is an undeniable fact that it will be harder for
people
to lose weight as they get older
due to
the decline in metabolism.
Hence
, it is quite difficult for middle
age
people
to stay
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
perfect fit compared with when they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
young.
However
,
people
tend to judge themselves and believe they are not good enough because they have a small belly, which is pretty normal and healthy. By
over pursuing
Add a hyphen
over-pursuing
show examples
unrealistic
beauty
goals, health and mental issues may arise and create a negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In summary,
people
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people's
show examples
attempt to maintain a younger look in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
true
age
is a result of misleading
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
and may lead to health and wellness concerns. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that true
beauty
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
only about physical
appearance
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
related to accepting and feeling
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
oneself
show examples
.
Submitted by jennygo64 on

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Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance structure and clarity.
Language Use
Using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary can make your arguments more compelling and improve coherence.
Content
Integrate more varied and specific examples to support your arguments. This can help improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
Argumentation
Avoid sweeping generalizations. Use more nuanced language to acknowledge exceptions and complexities in your argument.
Content
You effectively addressed both the reasons behind the desire to look younger and its implications, offering a balanced and complete response.
Structure
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of paragraphing, with distinct sections for different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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