The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

#phone #years #business #phones #forms

The growth of mobile phone utilization in the

last

decades has altered the manner of our lives,

communication

, and even business. Using mobile

phones

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

widely considered the reason for

significant

Change the article

a significant

the significant

show examples

number of social and health problems;

however

, I affirm that the beneficial role of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile

phones

cannot be ignored even if they have caused some downsides.

Initially

increment

Correct article usage

the increment

show examples

employ of mobile

phones

, better to say technology, has always been criticized

due to

the fact that it is believed to have more drawbacks compared to its positive use.

For instance

, many users claim that they are able to meet their family and friends online,

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their business aims and make money which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them able to save more time and energy,

nonetheless

, the harmful effects of

this

kind of

communication

, encompassing social isolation, depression, and disillusionment cannot be overlooked.

On the other hand

, it is obvious that the number of illnesses has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

escalated since the invention of mobile

phones

has been enhanced.

For instance

, the rate of obesity, cardiovascular diseases, mental disorders,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc. has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased

due to

the excessive use of mobile

phones

and

being exposed

Wrong verb form

exposure

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mobile radiation. Not only do we witness numerous physical issues, but

also

, we can distinguish the increased number of social problems including

behavioral

Change the spelling

behavioural

show examples

issues,

communication

problems and

such

things which are all the consequences of using mobile

phones

. In conclusion, considering all

above-mentioned

Correct article usage

the above-mentioned

show examples

matters, we cannot condone the effective role of mobile

phones

and the ease they have brought in

communication

and data interchange.

Additionally

, I am inclined to approve that mobile

phones

are useful devices but the way we use them can determine their negative or positive impacts.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Tue Apr 16 2024

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Development

Try to provide more balanced examples and elaboration of both advantages and disadvantages to enhance clarity and depth of your discussion.

Logical Structure

Focus on linking your ideas more smoothly to ensure that your argument flows logically from one point to the next.

Cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Grammar & Accuracy

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Response to Task

You have effectively addressed the topic and provided a clear stance on the argument, which is excellent for task achievement.

Structure

Your essay includes a solid introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.

Support

You've used examples and analyses to support your main points, enhancing the depth of your discussion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

over-reliance
cyberbullying
screen time
data privacy
identity theft
financial fraud
eye strain
sleep disorders
chronic issues
productivity
notifications
validation
self-esteem

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The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Nawadays families are not as close as they used to be. what do you think are the causes of this? what can be doen to make families closer?

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

The process describes the process of smoked fish producing

some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and wrong so that they can behave well others say that teachers should only teach students academic subjects disduss both views and give your opinion.

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+