IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meet can cause health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

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The most essential in our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 is
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 consume
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 healthier than
people
Use synonyms
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
. Personally, I totally disagree with the statement. First and foremost, I believe that when
people
Use synonyms
 eat only plant-based foods it is good for developing
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
body
Use synonyms
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
Use synonyms
power
Correct article usage
the power
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 to activity or limit
power
Use synonyms
 because inhabitants only consume plant-based foods. So, some
people
Use synonyms
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 eat
meat
Use synonyms
for creating
Change preposition
to create
show examples
power
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend has a habit of consuming plant-based foods
such
Linking Words
 as cucumber, carrots, and other vegetables.
Conversely
Linking Words
, he
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not
Use synonyms
power
Add a missing verb
have power
show examples
 when I invited him
for playing
Change preposition
to play
show examples
 football together. So, I suggest him
for consuming
Change preposition
to consume
show examples
meats
Fix the agreement mistake
meat
show examples
also
Linking Words
 to support
him
Change the pronoun
his
show examples
 activities. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is not good for the future because some
people
Use synonyms
 have limited exercise like a gym, swimming, and other sports, which they need only once a week for exercise.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the price of
meat
Use synonyms
 is costly but
that is
Linking Words
 no reason for not eating
meat
Use synonyms
 because some
people
Use synonyms
 only eat
meat
Use synonyms
 twice a week.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 eat
meet
Correct your spelling
meat
show examples
 to build their
body
Use synonyms
 and to enhance their
power
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an athlete
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
for supporting
Change preposition
to support
show examples
 their performance and getting energy to practice and
competition
Replace the word
compete
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, consuming
meat
Use synonyms
 or
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not
measuring
Wrong verb form
measure
show examples
 their
body
Use synonyms
fit
Replace the word
fitness
show examples
 because it depends on their habits
such
Linking Words
 as exercise, rest time, and other aspects.
To conclude
Linking Words
, consuming
meat
Use synonyms
 or
vegetarian
Correct article usage
a vegetarian
show examples
 diet is not a reason to get health problems because it depends on their habits and activities.

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Introduction Enhancement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents your stance on the topic and how you plan to support it.
Logical Structure Improvement
Work on organizing your essay with clear, distinct paragraphs for each main point, linking them logically.
Linking Words Usage
Include a wider range of linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs for improved coherence.
Conclusion Enhancement
Consider refining your conclusion to more effectively summarize your argument and reiterate your stance.
Examples Addition
To strengthen your argument, include more varied and specific examples that directly support your view.
Grammar Check
Review and correct grammatical errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
Task Understanding
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance, demonstrating task understanding.
Use of Examples
You make an effort to support your points with examples, which is key to a well-rounded argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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