IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A lot of social problems today are caused by teenagers. Many people believe this is because parents don’t spend enough time with them. Do you agree or disagree?

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Statistics show an increase in crime rate through teenagers’ offences. It is debated that the absence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parental guidance leads
emotional
Change preposition
to emotional
show examples
 and psychological damage to teenagers.
Thus
Linking Words
, I do agree with the necessity of
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
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 of
parents
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 teenagers’ social issues. In
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 era,
hence
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
’ concerns are their offspring’s welfare, women and men are both employed. By doing so, do not they spend enough time with family.
In addition
Linking Words
, the cruciality of educating moral values has been transited to just achieving money for them.
However
Linking Words
, adolescence is a sensitive part of every juvenile which requires special psychological attention
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, those
parents
Use synonyms
 who are
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
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 should work at night too,
their
Correct word choice
and their
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 offspring stay alone at home without having a normal safe night near
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of
educating
Replace the word
education
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spiritual
Change preposition
on spiritual
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 and traditional values, which should be taught by
parents
Use synonyms
, change to villainy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in some cases, the malevolent people incentivize them to commit. To put it differently,
parents
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 are more
trustable
Correct word choice
trustworthy
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friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 for their youths, but if they
don’t
Verb problem
aren’t
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be
Verb problem
apply
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, some humbugs get close to them and show offences, as an indulging activity.
For example
Linking Words
, they shoplift even though they have enough money, just to represent brave. To present as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mature, they drive
while
Linking Words
 intoxicated,
so
Correct word choice
and so
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 forth, other crimes would be committed,
such
Linking Words
 as burglary, mugging,
vandalism
Correct word choice
and vandalism
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. In summary, there is no doubt that
parents
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in bringing up children.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, offspring should be guided in an appropriate way in which its onus
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 on
parents
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, lacking spending time jeopardizes
emotional
Correct article usage
the emotional
show examples
 and morality of the youth.

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coherence cohesion
Strive for clearer and more concise sentences to avoid convoluted structures and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and sections.
task achievement
Ensure a stronger presence of specific examples to vividly support your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Review grammar and punctuation to eliminate minor errors and enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a clear stance supported by relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, adheres to the expected format, aiding in its overall coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adverse social behavior
  • formative years
  • unsavory environments
  • mitigate
  • exposed to
  • external pressures
  • oversimplifies
  • peer groups
  • meaningful conversations
  • genuine interest
  • physically and emotionally available
  • underlying issues
  • professional intervention
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