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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and pie show the total value and sources of fish imports to the UK from 1990 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table and pie show the total value and sources of fish imports to the UK from 1990 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#show #value #sources #fish #imports #uk #information #features #comparison
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The table
represents
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money spent on purchasing
fish
Use synonyms
 in 1990, 1995, and 2000 in the UK,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart illustrates the nations including
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Japan
Use synonyms
, and other
countries
Use synonyms
 where these came from during the given period.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of money for importing
fish
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily during the given period,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
 increased
fish
Use synonyms
 sales towards the UK dramatically
amlost
Correct your spelling
almost
 2 times. In 1990, the money spent on importing
fish
Use synonyms
recorded
Add a missing verb
was recorded
show examples
 as 6.5 billion
founds
Correct your spelling
funds
show examples
 and the majority of its sources were
Canada
Use synonyms
 and other
countries
Use synonyms
 evenly. In 1995, expenditure for buying
fish
Use synonyms
 was represented as 7.5 billion
founds
Correct your spelling
pounds
show examples
, mainly importing
fish
Use synonyms
 from other
countries
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the figure spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
fish
Use synonyms
 importing was recorded
the
Correct word choice
as the
show examples
hightst
Correct your spelling
highest
 number which was 10.5 billion
founds
Correct your spelling
funds
show examples
 and other
countries
Use synonyms
 were still
dominet
Correct your spelling
dominate
dominant
 followed by
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Japan
Use synonyms
 rose their proportion sharply
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
Canada
Use synonyms
 and other
countries
Use synonyms
 lost their market shares.
Submitted by choieunseok77 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, canada, japan, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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