IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many countries have developed public
spaces
Use synonyms
 in each city for
people
Use synonyms
's activities. Personally, I completely agree that it is exceedingly important and support will be illustrated in the following paragraphs: First and foremost, public squares and parks encourage the general
health
Use synonyms
 of individuals. If
people
Use synonyms
 have
spaces
Use synonyms
 to exercise, it will improve their physical
health
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 run or walk, they use their muscles to have an activity.
As a result
Linking Words
, muscle and physical
health
Use synonyms
 become stronger and healthier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, outdoor places eliminate stress. When individuals have physical activities, the body system will release hormones to reduce stress and improve their feeling fresh--preventing depression and anxiety.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if there are outdoor
spaces
Use synonyms
 in cities, it will be able to encourage
people
Use synonyms
's
health
Use synonyms
 to be stronger and they will be happier.
In addition
Linking Words
 to general
health
Use synonyms
, public outdoor
areas
Use synonyms
 improve the soft skills of children. If younger generations have
areas
Use synonyms
 to do activities in which they are interested, it will develop their skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication with their society or self-confidence in them.
For example
Linking Words
, in activity
spaces
Use synonyms
 in Hongdae
areas
Use synonyms
 of South Korea, many teenagers often use the space for expressing their abilities
such
Linking Words
 as cover dancing with team or band music shows.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they need to communicate with their team before showing it to the public and improve their confidence to express their ability in society. As I mentioned, there are tremendous boons of outdoor public
spaces
Use synonyms
 for citizens. Especially, encourages general
health
Use synonyms
, and improves the soft skills of children.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the government should spend money on developing
areas
Use synonyms
 and contribute to them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Great job providing relevant examples. To further enhance your response, consider adding even more specific details to support your main points.
coherence couhesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Using phrases like 'Another key reason' or 'Additionally' can help connect paragraphs more cohesively.
coherence couhesion
Your essay has an effective structure with clear introduction and conclusion. To improve, ensure that every paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the task, and you have supported your main points with relevant examples. This makes your argument compelling.
coherence couhesion
You have a logical structure that makes your essay easy to follow. Well-organized content helps the reader understand your key points.
coherence couhesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, which strengthens the overall structure of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public outdoor spaces
  • community events
  • social cohesion
  • community engagement
  • quality of urban life
  • physical activities
  • public health and wellbeing
  • environmental benefits
  • reduce pollution
  • urban wildlife
  • aesthetic appeal
  • inclusive access
  • economic benefits
  • local businesses
  • tourists attractions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: