Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meet can cause health problems. Do you agree or disagree?
Over the
last
twenty years, vegetarianism has become popular among various segments of the population. Some people don’t eat meat
because it’s considered animal killing. Others can’t afford to buy meat
due to
the high cost of meat
. Another adopt
that Verb problem
is
meat
isn’t a
necessary to nourish our Change the article
apply
body
. In my opinion, that diet
has disadvantages.
In the first place, when person
limits himself in the consumption of animal protein, they will have health problems in the future. As scientists show, protein Add an article
a person
improve
all systems of Change the verb form
improves
organism
Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
such
as immune
, digestive, Correct article usage
the immune
muscle
systems. Since a vegetarian Correct word choice
and muscle
diet
individuals don’t get daily protein requirements, those who follows
Change the verb form
follow
to
Change preposition
apply
this
nutrition are more likely to suffer from overwork during everyday activities or they may get colds more often.
In the second place, meat
is a fertile source of many nutrients, such
as iron or zinc and amino acids. Zinc is responsible for the growth and development of bone and muscle tissues. In addition
, zinc ensures the normal functioning of the brain. Iron is indispensable in helping to transport oxygen to different parts of the body
, thus
allowing the proper functioning of all body
organs. Beside
, amino acids are not synthesized in the Replace the word
Besides
body
. They take part in muscle recovery and in maintaining the health of the skin, hair and nails.
Despite the fact that, vegetarian or vegan can partially satisfy the need for proper nutrition, when it comes to health, going for typical
vegetarian Correct article usage
a typical
diet
can lead irreversible
processes in the Change preposition
to irreversible
body
.
To conclude
, the exclusion of meat
from the diet
can lead to various diseases of any organ systems
. Fix the agreement mistake
system
Thus
, I do not recommend completely excluding meat
from the diet
.Submitted by alexareptile on
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coherence cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structure more to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
While your arguments are clear, incorporating a wider range of sources or evidence could strengthen your position.
task achievement
Exploring the counterarguments in more depth would add nuance to your essay, showcasing a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Be wary of overgeneralizing the effects of a vegetarian diet without acknowledging individual dietary needs and variations.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully organized your essay, making your points easy to follow.
task achievement
Use of specific examples of nutrients and their effects on the body helps support your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.