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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table and chart below. Give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The table and chart below. Give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the chart shows how it was distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #features #comparison
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The table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 of
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts depict the distribution of
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the total
of
Change preposition
apply
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investment
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
 experienced
a
Remove the article
apply
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growth
while
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
national government contributed
for
Change preposition
apply
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the largest amount of
money
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
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budget
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 spent most on salaries for officers and staff
while
Linking Words
 the investment
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 building and transport of
this
Linking Words
budget
Use synonyms
 was the least one.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
national
Add an article
the national
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 government invested to
police
Use synonyms
budget
Use synonyms
 175.5
million
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 pounds in 2017 and
this
Linking Words
invested
Wrong verb form
investment
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money
Use synonyms
 increased by 2.3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there was a significant rise in the contribution of local taxes
by
Change preposition
from
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 above 10
million
Use synonyms
 to 102.3
million
Use synonyms
 pounds in 2018.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
invested
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 witnessed a remarkable increase
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 around 15
million
Use synonyms
 to 318.6
million
Use synonyms
 pounds in 2018. Moving on
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 other
categoris
Correct your spelling
categories
, the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on salaries held the
lion
Change noun form
lion's
show examples
 share over the period of time in question but it declined significantly by 6% to 69% in 2018.
Next,
Linking Words
technology was invested more by 6% to 14% in 2018.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there was a remaining unchanged in the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 distributed to building and transport at 17%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words police, budget, money, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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