These days we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television and this is having a negative impact on children's beahaviour.do you agree or disagree?
Recently, there
have
been plenty of inappropriate information that Change the verb form
has
children
can access without any filter from many media, such
as violence
. In this
essay, I will explore both perspective
to assess the extent to which everyone should pay attention to Change to a plural noun
perspectives
children
who got
an exposed Verb problem
have
of
Change preposition
to
violence
since young
Add an article
a young
age
.
There are valid concerns regarding its negative impact on children
’s attitude
in the future. Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
Firstly
, children
who see any violence
since
Change preposition
at
earlier
Correct article usage
an earlier
age
will be growing up with trauma. Later, they are prone for
having a mental health disease. Change preposition
to
Also
, children
who still not dealing with their trauma will likely for having lower self esteem
than their peers. Add a hyphen
self-esteem
This
can lead child for having
Change preposition
to have
a
bad academic performance during their school Correct article usage
apply
age
and it can be a serious issue. Secondly
, child
learns from what they see. Add an article
the child
a child
Children
who do not have any Replace the word
guidance
guide
from adults will see Replace the word
guidance
violence
as a common thing to express their feeling
. Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
This
is a big issue because children
will act and do the
Correct article usage
apply
violence
without thinking that what they do are
Change the verb form
is
completely
wrong thing. Different forms of abuse might appear every single day in the future.
Other people might Add an article
a completely
the completely
be disagree
and say that exposure Change the verb form
disagree
of
Change preposition
to
violence
since
Change preposition
at
the
young Correct article usage
a
age
will rise
their Correct your spelling
raise
self awareness
. Add a hyphen
self-awareness
For example
, children
who used to see violence
will make them know whether it is a bad or good thing since earlier. Because of that, as they grow up, they will experience some guilty feeling
and prevent them from doing Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
violence
. Moreover
, other people believe that children
should know many things before their school age
, including violence
, to make sure they are going to be brave to
report any Rephrase
enough to
violence
that they see later.
In conclusion, I believe that exposure to violence
from young
is affected negatively. Parents should guide their Correct article usage
a young
children
to prevent any harm that might be a problem in the future.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs clearly, marking your introduction, main body, and conclusion more distinctly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further with more specific examples and evidences to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and transitions to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by engaging with the topic and providing a clear personal stance.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.
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