the graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 , with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
The provided line graph depicts information
regrading
the Correct your spelling
regarding
percentage
of the population in four countries, Correct article usage
the Phillipines
Phillipines
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia living in urban cities from 1970 to 2020, with Correct your spelling
Philippines
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
in
future for 2030 and 2040.
Change preposition
for
Overll
, The Correct your spelling
Overall
percentage
of total
population of Malaysia and Indonesia have Add an article
the total
a total
a
same Correct article usage
the
trend
. It shown
Wrong verb form
showed
steady
increase. Which Add an article
a steady
percentage
of Malaysia stared
Correct your spelling
started
around
32 Change preposition
at around
percent
in 1970 and Change the spelling
per cent
Correct article usage
a continous
continous
rise in 2020 Correct your spelling
continuous
approximately
80 Change preposition
to approximately
percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
In
the same time, The Change preposition
At
percentage
of Indonesia in 1970 around
15 Add a missing verb
was around
percent
and slow
Rephrase
it slowly
soar
Wrong verb form
soared
at
2020 around 50 Change preposition
in at
percent
.
In contrast
, Two
countries Correct article usage
the Two
has
a similar Change the verb form
have
trend
including Philipines
and Thailand. It Correct article usage
the Philipines
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
Correct article usage
a fluctuate
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
trend
from 1970 to 2020. The peak point of Philipinse
Correct your spelling
Philippines
around
50 Add a missing verb
was around
percent
in 1990 and information Change the spelling
per cent
decrease
in 2010 Wrong verb form
decreased
around
40 Change preposition
to around
percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
While the
Correct word choice
The
percentage
of Thailand has a small fluctuate
from 1990 to 2010 and after that Replace the word
fluctuation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
steady
increase.
Add an article
a steady
However
, The percentage
of the population living in four countries has a similar trend
in 2030 and 2040. While
the main trend
have
Change the verb form
has
increase
in the future.Change the verb form
increased
Submitted by phatkhunnok on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, trend, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
▼
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!