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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 , with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

the graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 , with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The provided line graph depicts information
regrading
Correct your spelling
regarding
show examples
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population in four countries,
Correct article usage
the Phillipines
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Phillipines
Correct your spelling
Philippines
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia living in urban cities from 1970 to 2020, with
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 future for 2030 and 2040.
Overll
Correct your spelling
Overall
, The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
total
Add an article
the total
a total
show examples
 population of Malaysia and Indonesia have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
trend
Use synonyms
. It
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
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steady
Add an article
a steady
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 increase. Which
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Malaysia
stared
Correct your spelling
started
show examples
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 32
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1970 and
Correct article usage
a continous
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continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
 rise in 2020
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 80
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same time, The
percentage
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 of Indonesia in 1970
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 15
percent
Use synonyms
 and
slow
Rephrase
it slowly
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soar
Wrong verb form
soared
show examples
at
Change preposition
in at
show examples
 2020 around 50
percent
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Two
Correct article usage
the Two
show examples
 countries
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a similar
trend
Use synonyms
 including
Philipines
Correct article usage
the Philipines
show examples
 and Thailand. It
depict
Change the verb form
depicts
show examples
Correct article usage
a fluctuate
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fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
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trend
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 2020. The peak point of
Philipinse
Correct your spelling
Philippines
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990 and information
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in 2010
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Thailand has a small
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
 from 1990 to 2010 and after that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
 increase.
However
Linking Words
, The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population living in four countries has a similar
trend
Use synonyms
 in 2030 and 2040.
While
Linking Words
 the main
trend
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 in the future.
Submitted by phatkhunnok on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, trend, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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