Studies suggest that children spend more time watching TV than they did in the past and spend less on doing active or creative things. Why do you think it is the case? What measures and methods can be used to tackle with it?
The majority of the new generation is used to
time
for watching TV
more and more time
and they do not have to do any activities
or any achievements. Because they are addicted to watching TV
programs like cartoons. Therefore
, it is are many cases and in this
essay, I will discuss them.
On the one hand, nowadays the new generation is addicted to watching TV
and they do not have to spend time
on their activities
. So children
should not learn any other creative things like education, sports, etc. They are less of a future carrying. For example
, they are not forced to like sports. It is given practice after school that way children
do not attend it. Because they have scheduled for a TV
program.
Moreover
, sometimes they even eat while
watching TV
. They do not do outdoor activities
. It affects children
's brains. As a result
, increasing addiction in the same way they are becoming mental issues.
On the other hand
, I think that caspase to man in reason parent
do not care Fix the agreement mistake
parents
the
Change the word
their
children
. Therefore
, they used it unlimited. Parents can solve this
case by doing other activities
ply as outdoor games with another child. For example
, a parent can go to the park or coffee shop with their children
. So they do not get addicted to it.
In conclusion, these days, children
are addicted to they are pleasure time
watching TV
and they do not do any other activities
to achieve. Therefore
parents can solve those problems and they can improve other activities
.Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly. Start with an introduction that succinctly presents the topic and your main points. Follow this with structured paragraphs that each focus on a specific aspect of the issue. Conclude with a summary of your discussions and your viewpoint or recommendation.
Language
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and grammar structures to express your ideas more accurately and to make your essay more engaging. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and help the reader understand your points better.
Language
Pay attention to punctuation and sentence structure to improve readability and coherence. Proper use of commas, periods, and paragraphing is essential.
Task Response
You engaged with the topic and attempted to address both parts of the question: the reasons behind the issue and possible solutions.
Task Achievement
You presented a variety of ideas related to the topic, demonstrating an effort to cover multiple aspects of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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