The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making Sugar from sugarcane.

#process #sugar #sugarcane

The given process chart illustrates how

sugar

is produced from

sugar

cane.

Overall

total

Correct article usage

a total

show examples

seven

Change preposition

of seven

show examples

steps are involved in performing the task and some work is done by people and some by machines

To begin

with, it is clearly seen from the given chart that to produce

sugar

firstly

sugar

canes are grown which

take

Correct subject-verb agreement

takes

show examples

about 12-18 months to grow.

Further

harvesting

Correct article usage

the harvesting

show examples

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

is performed by two methods . First is to use vehicles or Machines

such

as tractors and second is to cultivate by humans using hands. Afterwards, the cultivated

sugar

canes are crushed by using

crushing

Add an article

a crushing

the crushing

show examples

machine to make

juice

Moreover

then

the

juice

passes through a

funnel shaped

Add a hyphen

funnel-shaped

show examples

object which has

limestone

Correct article usage

a limestone

show examples

filter for purifying

juice

Then

this

crystal clear

juice

is heated in a large evaporator and by the process of

evaporation

Add a comma

evaporation,

show examples

juice

converts into syrup.

Furthermore

Correct article usage

the centrifugetion

show examples

centrifugetion

Correct your spelling

centrifugation

process

take

Change the verb form

takes

show examples

place in order to separate the

sugar

crystals from

syrup

Add an article

the syrup

show examples

. .

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

Lastly

this

syrup is dried and cooled in a big container to

finally

produce

sugar

Submitted by akshayashvi07 on Thu Apr 18 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

172 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making Sugar from sugarcane.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

An old friend of yours is coming to visit your city. You had planned to meet him at the airport, but something has come up and you will not be able to make it there on time. Write to your friend, In your letter Explain the situation Offer to make alternative arrangements.

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Considering that adualts spend much of their lives at work, having job satisfaction is extremely important. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all employees?