The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making Sugar from sugarcane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making Sugar from sugarcane.
The given process chart illustrates how
sugar
is produced from
sugar
cane.
Overall
,
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
seven
Change preposition
of seven
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steps are involved in performing the task and some work is done by people and some by machines
To begin
with, it is clearly seen from the given chart that to produce
sugar
,
firstly
sugar
canes are grown which
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
about 12-18 months to grow.
Further
,
harvesting
Correct article usage
the harvesting
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of
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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is performed by two methods . First is to use vehicles or Machines
such
as tractors and second is to cultivate by humans using hands. Afterwards, the cultivated
sugar
canes are crushed by using
crushing
Add an article
a crushing
the crushing
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machine to make
juice
.
Moreover
,
then
the
juice
passes through a
funnel shaped
Add a hyphen
funnel-shaped
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object which has
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
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filter for purifying
juice
.
Then
,
this
crystal clear
juice
is heated in a large evaporator and by the process of
evaporation
Add a comma
evaporation,
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juice
converts into syrup.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
the centrifugetion
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centrifugetion
Correct your spelling
centrifugation
process
take
Change the verb form
takes
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place in order to separate the
sugar
crystals from
syrup
Add an article
the syrup
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. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Lastly
,
this
syrup is dried and cooled in a big container to
finally
produce
sugar
.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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