The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making Sugar from sugarcane.
The given process chart illustrates how
sugar
is produced from sugar
cane.
Overall
, total
Correct article usage
a total
seven
steps are involved in performing the task and some work is done by people and some by machines
Change preposition
of seven
To begin
with, it is clearly seen from the given chart that to produce sugar
, firstly
sugar
canes are grown which take
about 12-18 months to grow. Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
Further
, harvesting
of Correct article usage
the harvesting
sugar
canes
is performed by two methods . First is to use vehicles or Machines Fix the agreement mistake
cane
such
as tractors and second is to cultivate by humans using hands. Afterwards, the cultivated sugar
canes are crushed by using crushing
machine to make Add an article
a crushing
the crushing
juice
.
Moreover
, then
the juice
passes through a funnel shaped
object which has Add a hyphen
funnel-shaped
limestone
filter for purifying Correct article usage
a limestone
juice
. Then
, this
crystal clear juice
is heated in a large evaporator and by the process of evaporation
Add a comma
evaporation,
juice
converts into syrup. Furthermore
, Correct article usage
the centrifugetion
centrifugetion
process Correct your spelling
centrifugation
take
place in order to separate the Change the verb form
takes
sugar
crystals from syrup
Add an article
the syrup
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
Lastly
, this
syrup is dried and cooled in a big container to finally
produce sugar
.Submitted by akshayashvi07 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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