IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Your local newspaper is offering an award for people who have helped the community. Write a letter to the newspaper editor. In your letter suggest someone you think should receive the award describe what the person does to help the community suggest an award that would be appropriate for this person You should write at least 150 words.

#newspaper #award #people #community #editor #someone #person
Dear Sir/Madam, First of
all
Add a comma
all,
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 thank you to your
newpaper
Correct your spelling
newspaper
 company for
this
 generous award which you have been giving to the most
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 community. I would like you
suggest
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to suggest
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 a name which is
a
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an
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 ideal candidate for
this
 award
that is
 Mr. Rohit Sir who is a teacher in our local community school. He helped young children who cannot
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 education by lack of funds or any other unseen reasons. He runs a small primary school in
a the
Choose an article
a
the
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 community park near the agricultural building. His goal is to educate poor and helpless families children so that they can dream about a secure future. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 he will be best suited for
academic
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the academic
an academic
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 award for
local
Correct article usage
the local
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comminity
Correct your spelling
community
 as
he
Add a verb
he is
he was
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 always ready to help his students in any situation. Your's
faithfully
Replace the adverb
faithful
show examples
, Rishab Sharma.
Submitted by gurpreetkaler18 on

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detail
Try to delve a bit deeper into the specific activities and contributions of Mr. Rohit Sir to provide a stronger case for why he deserves the award.
example
Consider mentioning a specific anecdote or example that highlights Mr. Rohit Sir's impact on the community.
accuracy
Review the letter for minor spelling or grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professional presentation. For instance, 'helpfull' should be 'helpful', and 'persue' should be 'pursue'.
structure
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your letter.
tone
The letter maintains a respectful and appropriate tone throughout, suitable for its intended audience.
idea flow
You effectively presented a singular main idea in each paragraph, which aids in the reader's understanding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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