Unhealthy eating has a negative effect on both individuals and the society in which they live. Some people think that the government should tax unhealthy foods while others believe that a ‘fat tax’ is unfair and unnecessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days, it is considered that it has
negative
impact Add an article
a negative
for
Change preposition
on
people
and their society
to eat unhealthy food. Some argue that a ‘fat tax
’ should be determined by government
, Add an article
the government
a government
while
others think the task is not necessary because it will be unfair. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion for
Change preposition
on
this
unhealthy food tax
matter.
To begin
with, many people
say that it is unfair for companies which produce fat
Replace the word
fatty
foods
when governments decide the tax
. There are some people
who buy foods
such
as chips, candies or meets
, because they are cheaper than healthy Correct your spelling
meat
foods
. However
if the Add a comma
However,
tax
is made, people
will not purchase that kind of foods
, and Fix the agreement mistake
food
then
, the companies' income will decline. As a result
, some individuals will lose their jobs, and moreover
, many people
cannot but
Correct your spelling
buy
foods
because all Fix the agreement mistake
food
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
foods
can be expensive for them.
Fix the agreement mistake
food
However
, I believe eating unhealthy foods
is adverse for human
and Fix the agreement mistake
humans
society
and government
should Correct article usage
the government
tax
for
them. There are many positive impacts when Change preposition
apply
people
stop eating them because of the cost. For example
, people
can avoid diabetes which is the reason for many illness
, which is not only Change to a plural noun
illnesses
advantage
for Correct article usage
an advantage
human's
health but Change noun form
human
also
the best way for society
to cut cost
for medical care, and they Fix the agreement mistake
costs
will
can invest Verb problem
apply
other
facilities Change preposition
in other
finally
.
In conclusion, I consider that government
should Correct article usage
the government
tax
unhealthy food, although
sometimes it looks unfair. It will leads
Change the verb form
lead
people
and society
where they live to more Correct article usage
the society
healthy
in the future.Replace the word
healthier
Submitted by mayu1022.p on
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Introduction
Be sure to introduce both views clearly in your introduction to give a brief overview of the discussion. This helps in laying a solid groundwork for your essay.
Language Use
Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
Supporting Points
Try to use specific examples or evidence to support your points. This strengthens your argument and makes your claims more convincing.
Paragraphing
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs to aid the flow of your essay. This will enhance its coherence and cohesion.
Opinion
You have clearly presented your opinion on the matter, which is crucial for task achievement.
Balance
Your essay addresses both viewpoints, which ensures a balanced discussion in line with the essay prompt.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises your viewpoint, reinforcing the argument made throughout the essay.
