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Band 3

Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #argue #government #offer
Due to
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
 growth of technology , the world has come a long way
therefore
 the lifestyle has changed a lot in the past few years . As the population is increasing at an alarming rate
in
Correct your spelling
it
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 is a big deal to have a roof on one's head .
Have
Wrong verb form
Having
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 a house is very crucial in
current
Add an article
the current
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 scenario as
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 safety and mental peace . In the midst of change , it's very difficult to find a suitable place to live as the population rate is increasing rapidly . There are some citizens who
Accord
Verb problem
Agree
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 with the notion that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should provide free
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
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 to the poor
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 of the nation . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion but somewhere I vehemently Agree with the statement . In the succeeding monograph , I intend to delve into the matter
as well as
 proffer examples to justify my point of view.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score, ensure that your essay includes specific examples to support your arguments. This helps the reader understand your point of view better and strengthens your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion. In future essays, aim to maintain a logical flow by carefully organizing your paragraphs and connecting your ideas more explicitly.
Structure
To further enhance your essay, consider a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reiterates your position. This will help in providing a clear closure and strengthen the overall argument.
Clarity
You've done a good job of presenting your agreement with the statement in a clear manner.
Introduction
Your introduction provides a solid foundation for your argument, effectively outlining the issue at hand.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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