some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Opinions differ regarding the way
people
should react when faced with unfavourable situations, such
as bad working conditions, and whether they should be accepted or resisted and make things better. People
who choose to accept it usually have big responsibilities and cannot quit their job
. Others who think they are betterFix the agreement mistake
jobs
,
will strive to make better situations. In my perspective, employees should fight to get their desired circumstances.
On the one hand, experiencing unfair treatment from managers can make employees feel unsatisfied and create a toxic environment. The burden of responsibility, especially when someone is the backbone of the family, makes some Remove the comma
apply
people
surrender and embrace the uncomfortable situation in their workplace. For example
, when somebody is a sandwich generation and reaching the
late thirties, they need to Change the word
their
work
the hours to pay for their child’s tuition, treat their sickly parents, and put the food on the table. In Indonesia, the market job has become very competitive and harsh toward those who are over 25 years old. So, it is unbecoming for them to let anger get the better and quit the job if their family depended on them.
On the other hand
, when employees' hard work
does not go appreciated or unnoticed, it makes them feel demotivated. Some people
who take pride in their work
and see themselves as having much better worth won’t stand idle being treated like that and see this
as fuel to make them find new opportunities elsewhere
. There are many ways to achieve their goal, such
as looking for additional income by doing freelance work
or improving their skills to be an expert in their field. By doing so, they put much of their attention and time into doing that and are not affected by their work
environment, because they are ready to leave.
In conclusion, in terms of bad working conditions, some people
accept them because they have huge responsibilities and cannot afford to quit their jobs. While
,
some individuals refuse to do it because they know they are valuable and will find the best place that can appreciate it.Remove the comma
apply
Submitted by desyaf99 on
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positive feedback
You've done an excellent job at laying out both viewpoints clearly and providing specific examples to support each side. This helps strengthen your argument and make it more relatable to the reader.
improvement suggestion
To further enhance your essay, consider adding a brief summary of each viewpoint in your conclusion to make your own stance even clearer. This will not only reinforce your argument but also help ensure the reader fully understands your perspective.
positive feedback
Your use of transition words and phrases effectively guides the reader through your essay, contributing significantly to its coherence and cohesion. Continuously refine your use of these linguistic tools to maintain the flow of your essay.
improvement suggestion
When introducing your own opinion, make sure it is clearly distinguished from the discussion of the viewpoints. This will prevent any possible confusion and make your stance unequivocal to the reader.
content
Effective use of specific examples to support each viewpoint.
structure
Clear structure and logical development of ideas throughout the essay.
structure
Introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay's argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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