In achieving personal happines our relationship with family, friends and collegues are more important work and wealth. Do you agree or disagree.
In today's globalised
world
some people consider that Add a comma
world,
for being
happy it is important to surround yourself with good friends. Change preposition
to be
However
, others believe it is important to be wealty
for real Correct your spelling
healthy
happines
. I agree with Correct your spelling
happiness
first
statement and I will explain my viewpoint.
First Change the article
the first
human
can not live Fix the agreement mistake
humans
withought
communicating. We live in society and a man need each other. We create Correct your spelling
without
relationship
with different persons at our schools, universities and at Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Moreover
, our family members support us in in
different situations, in good and bad times. Remove the redundancy
apply
Furthermore
, our friends help us to make us right desicions
in Correct your spelling
decisions
extrimal
situations and give us moral support. Correct your spelling
extreme
extremal
For instance
, a friend of mine helped me to come up with depression and to contiune
living as before.
Turning to the other side of the argument, from Correct your spelling
continue
point
of Correct article usage
the point
psycologists
view Change noun form
psycologists'
psycologist's
richnest
do not help people to be happy. Correct your spelling
richness
richest
For example
, some well-known persons commit suicide. It proof
that being prominent Add a missing verb
is proof
do
not help them to live joyful life. Change the verb form
does
Besides
, most prominent people feel unhappy and lead antisocial life.
To sum
up
all mentioned above it is clearly seen that a person can not live alone. It is important for him to make a good link with family members and friends.Add a comma
up,
Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Work on developing a clear, logical structure in your essays, ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct main idea supported by relevant examples. Consider using a range of linking words to better connect your ideas.
introduction conclusion
Clarify and expand your introduction and conclusion to more effectively bookend your argument. Your introduction should clearly state your thesis, and your conclusion should summarize your main points without introducing new information.
task response
To improve task achievement, ensure you fully address the prompt by presenting a balanced discussion of your opinion and the opposing viewpoint. Provide more specific examples and a deeper analysis to support your claims.
balanced viewpoint
You have a good approach to discussing both sides of the argument, which helps to meet the task requirement.
example use
You use relevant examples to support your points, contributing to the overall effectiveness of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!