some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertainment and ecological important. Discuss both views

#people #animals #zoos #entertainment

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some individuals think that it is unacceptable to keep wild

animals

Use synonyms

cooped up in

zoos

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other

people

Use synonyms

argue that

zoos

Use synonyms

are both

enterainment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

and

ecological

Change the adjective

ecologically

show examples

important.

While

Linking Words

some individuals believe that

zoos

Use synonyms

are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment because they can have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

time watching wild

animals

Use synonyms

, I believe it is totally wrong to keep wild

animals

Use synonyms

coped

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

zoos

Use synonyms

because they need to be free in the wild with

Fix the agreement mistake

other

show examples

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

wild

animals

Use synonyms

as well. On the one hand, many

people

Use synonyms

think that

zoos

Use synonyms

are great places to have fun with family because they can take hundreds of pictures and enjoy watching

animals

Use synonyms

inside the cage.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they believe that these

animals

Use synonyms

are well treated by zookeepers and that there is nothing to worry about

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Another thing is that

people

Use synonyms

love to feed

animals

Use synonyms

and sometimes touch them as a unique experience, and they think it is

worthy

Replace the word

worth

show examples

to visit

Change the verb form

visiting

show examples

zoos

Use synonyms

because of

this

Linking Words

For instance

Linking Words

, in The United States, San Diego Zoo, thousands and thousands of

people

Use synonyms

visit these

zoos

Use synonyms

to have a great time with their children and they are eager to touch wild

animals

Use synonyms

or wave them.

However

Linking Words

, I think

this

Linking Words

totally

Add an article

the totally

a totally

show examples

wrong way of thinking because

animals

Use synonyms

deserve to live in a free environment.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the vast majority of individuals believe that it is

unaceptable

Correct your spelling

unacceptable

to keep

animals

Use synonyms

cooped up because they need to run and play with other wild

animals

Use synonyms

as well.

To begin

Linking Words

with, if they do not feel free, they might get depressed or sick because they need to run freely. Another thing is that they need to

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

their wild skills with other

animals

Use synonyms

completing

Change the form of the verb

complete

show examples

their circle of life because they need to search for food. To illustrate

this

Linking Words

, on television, Discovery

channel

Capitalize word

Channel

show examples

express

Correct subject-verb agreement

expresses

show examples

the importance

for

Change preposition

show examples

wild

animlas

Correct your spelling

animals

to live freely in the wild, and enhance how crucial is

this

Linking Words

for their survival skills and the importance

to run

Change preposition

of running

show examples

every day for their

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

. I strongly believe

this

Linking Words

is a much better way to enjoy

animals

Use synonyms

without hurting them by putting them in a cage.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

many

people

Use synonyms

wrongly believe

zoos

Use synonyms

are for entertainment and have

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

time with their family, I strongly believe

this

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong way to enjoy wild

animals

Use synonyms

, and it is much better to put them in the forest, so they can live

freelly

Correct your spelling

freely

, and preserve their wild skills.

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Fri Apr 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Try to expand your ideas with more specific examples that support your points. This helps strengthen your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Coherence & Cohesion

While your essay shows good coherence and cohesion, varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words could enhance readability and flow.

Task Achievement

Ensure your introduction explicitly mentions that you will discuss both views before stating your own position. This approach helps clarify the structure of your essay from the beginning.

Coherence & Cohesion

You've done well to organize your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a different viewpoint, and a conclusion. This structure is effective for the reader.

Task Achievement

Providing a personal opinion alongside discussing both views allows for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

401 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You want to sell some of your furniture. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • explain why you are selling • describe the furniture • suggest a date when your friend can come and see the furniture Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear
Hope you are doing great, actually i am ready to move from Toronto to Montreal, so this is not possible to move all the furniture there. Due to this reason, i would like to sell the good quality of furniture which includes, sofa set, a table, a king size bed, 4 chairs and a new bicycle which one i recently, bought from the Canadian Tire as a replacement.
4
band
While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples
In today’s world, social media has become integral to our daily routines, serving as a means of communication and entertainment. Social networks provide many advantages, whereas if individuals consume them excessively, they will affect with your mental health. This article will explore the impact of consumption internet networks immoderate by providing perspectives on the negative aspects. There is various content in social networking websites such as one day vlog with me or luxurious travelling. Most contents in social media sites provide unrealistic lifestyle, showing sole optimistic mood, making individuals compare themselves to influencers, so these can lead to self-dissatisfaction, self-doubt and decline self-esteem. Moreover, utilization social media is effect not only audiences but also the media producers. In the online platforms are unrestrained to comments or criticizes and gave freedom of speech to viewers. If they are adverse comments, it will lead to many impacts. For i...
4.5
band
With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.
Some individuals think that face to face education will become antiquated due to the rise of virtual learning nowadays. The writer disagree with the above statement. The essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of both virtual and face to face learning methods.
5.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?
Many people consider History as an essential subject in school curriculum while others contend that science and technology should get more priority. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and argue that science and technology-related subjects should be given more importance in school syllabi as the current era is defined by the advancement of technology rather than history.
5.5
band
It is better for people to have a fixed work schedule than to have a flexible one. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this digital era, people nowadays have the option to choose between defined work hours or adjustable working hours. This has become possible with the advancement of technology and dramatically improved workers’ performance. This essay will delve deep into both points of view and substantiate the point of view that I agree with.

some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertainment and ecological important. Discuss both views

Your opinion

While social media platforms can have their benefits, using them too much can make you feel increasingly unhappy and decrease your self-esteem in the long run. Discuss with examples

With increasing popularity of online learning, some people believe that traditional classroom education will become obsolete. Do you agree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both online and traditional learning methods.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

It is better for people to have a fixed work schedule than to have a flexible one. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.