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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live on, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#future #earth #people #money #planet
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In the future, if certain global issues persist, it will become more challenging to sustain human life on Earth. Some people believe that a large expenditure should be made on exploring other planets to survive,
such
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 as Mars. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
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 assertion.
While
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 it may have advantages in some aspects, others seem to be ineffective. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views to support my opinion. On the one hand, the consumption of natural resources is uncontrolled and depleting.
For example
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, the exploitation of fossil fuels,
such
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 as coal, gas, and oil, to satisfy the energy demands of many industries could release a huge amount of CO2, leading to pollution in water, the atmosphere, and so on.
Therefore
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, research for new planets to colonize will play an important role in creating additional livable places in the new world.
On the other hand
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, investing in space exploration requires a vast amount of funding with no guarantee of success,
whereas
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this
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 money might be needed to develop healthcare systems for people and improve education programs for students.
Moreover
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, finding another home for all creatures on Earth could be considered an unrealistic solution because there is little hope of finding a planet with
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 conditions for life,
while
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 the money allocated for
this
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 can be extremely huge.
In contrast
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, a more practical solution is that we should invest in protected environmental projects and encourage individuals to live a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. In conclusion, it could be the desire of someone who doesn’t want to suffer from pollution on Earth, but it seems to be an ineffective measure since there are some concerns regarding the effectiveness of
this
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 investment and several more urgent problems that should be prioritized.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded in reality.
Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to structure your essay with clear introductions and conclusions. This practice enhances readability and gives your argument a strong framework.
Coherence & Cohesion
To strengthen your essay, consider developing your main points further by exploring them in more depth. This might involve adding more detailed explanations or considering counterarguments to provide a more nuanced perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, which makes your argument easy to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've made good use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay, which is excellent practice.
Task Achievement
The completeness of your response is commendable, as you address both sides of the argument before stating your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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