Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature

Crimes in society take place

due to

some unwelcomed conditions

such

as lack of money and several miscellaneous social factors in some

people

's opinion, meanwhile, others believe that individuals' state of

nature

causes

such

issues. Self-evidently, the crime rate in every single society is an important element of social security which should be provided and preserved by states in any possible means. On the one hand, some claim that

this

kind of abnormality derives from insufficient funds for families

along with

a lack of career opportunities throughout the country.

For instance

, if one is penniless and has to cover the family expenses he or she most probably does whatever it takes to provide it for the family.

Therefore

, to conduct it he or she can commit any crime to obtain money.

Moreover

, lack of knowledge and social class of the

people

may impact

this

situation in order to intrigue individuals to have a tendency toward

such

an action.

On the other hand

, many others strongly believe that

this

crime situation appears

due to

the evil

nature

of someone and it has no relation to poverty or other social conditions in every society. By way of illustration, there are pieces of evidence showing that some well-off

people

commit dreadful crimes and sometimes may wipe out the trace by spending a great amount of hush money in corrupt countries. They justify that what is the

nature

of human beings will show it in the long- run and whoever owns an evil

nature

will have the evil deeds no matter if he or she is affluent or poor. In a nutshell, they assume the

people

's insidious

nature

will impact it. In conclusion, we can observe that

people

's way of upbringing and their background heavily influence their future and deeds, but the amount derived from social conditions

as well as

their life quality and job situation outweigh the former reason in that statistics prove it in general.

Submitted by keyhan454 on Fri Apr 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

A broader range of linking words could enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Consider integrating more varied sentence structures to improve fluidity and readability.

task achievement

Strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples to support your views.

task achievement

Your conclusion could more explicitly state your own opinion for a stronger personal viewpoint.

task achievement

The essay addresses both viewpoints as the task requested, effectively covering the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and establish the topic and your stance well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be invested better in other areas. To what extent do you agree with this view?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

many companies are developing electronic books.some people think these books will replace paper books in the future.to what extend do you agree?

some people think that government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsible of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides give your opinion.