Nowdays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Self employment
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Self-employment
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has become mainstream recently. People decide to work by themselves and do not apply for jobs in companies. In
this
essay, both
causes
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the causes
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and negative effects of
this
matter will be outlined before reaching a conclusion.
To begin
with, it is undeniable that there are several reasons why individuals choose to be
self employed
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self-employed
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, and one of the utmost arguments is to take care of mental health. To elaborate
further
, freelancers can choose which tasks will provide them with stress and pressure the least.
Moreover
, because of the flexibility of schedules, they can go out and spend time with their loved ones.
For example
, one of my
colleague
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colleagues
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who resigned already is working as a freelancer so he can adjust and arrange a time for his family.
Besides
, he has good mental health because he can decide which tasks suit him better
instead
of working
all
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on all
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of them.
Additionally
,
a
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apply
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self employment
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self-employment
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also
brings numerous negative effects to those freelancers, and the crucial one is it affects their behaviours. What
this
means is that it gives them a sense of unproductivity as they can stop working whenever they want.
Furthermore
, being
self employed
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self-employed
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means citizens cannot sharpen some essential skills
such
as socialising
skill
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skills
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.
For instance
, my cousin,
although
she is working as a freelance mathematics tutor, always stays at home being idle.
In addition
, she lacks
of
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apply
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confidence when she needs to talk with her new students.
Overall
, it is a fact that
a
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apply
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self employment
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self-employment
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become trendy in these modern days because freelancers can be able to maintain their mental health in
a
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apply
show examples
good condition.
However
, it
also
brings downsides to citizens
such
as unproductive behaviour or a communication skill.
Submitted by nnatthinee on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and offers a balanced discussion. However, some points could be more clearly developed. For instance, you mention the flexibility of schedules and how it benefits mental health, but you could provide more detail on how this impacts daily life or productivity specifically.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the paragraphs could benefit from smoother transitions. Try using more transitional phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand,' to connect your ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. While the examples of your colleague and cousin are helpful, adding more general examples or statistics could make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
You effectively introduce the topic and summarize your main points in the introduction, which gives the reader a clear idea of what to expect.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your main arguments and ties the essay together well, providing a satisfying end to your discussion.
task achievement
You address both the benefits and drawbacks of self-employment, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Flexibility
  • Autonomy
  • Work-life integration
  • Increased control
  • Fluctuating earnings
  • Administrative tasks
  • Marketing and financial management
  • Potential isolation
  • Social interaction
  • Disconnectedness
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