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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
These days, people may face different types of
questions
 in a job interview.
Depends
Wrong verb form
Depending
show examples
 on a company rule or a position requirement, there would be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
questions
 related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 personal
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
. Some
says
Correct subject-verb agreement
say
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 that it actually does not really matter for the position,
whereas
 others agree
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 personal
questions
 are one of
most
Add an article
a most
the most
show examples
 important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of the interview. In
this
 essay, I will look at both sides of the argument and give my own opinion. First of all, companies want to know about a candidate who can be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right one or not
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the position based on the
questions
 because it is easy to know knowledge and experience
according to
 exams.
For instance
, ;lkadjl;kfja,dnfa;lkfd.
Secondly
, directors or leathers always find an employee who can work as a perfect team member because success is not for an employee, it is for
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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.
Lastly
, the
questions
 help to know how much time
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
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he/she can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working
due to
 adf;lkja;ldkf.
Submitted by enkhbat0923 on

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Supporting Examples
Develop your examples more fully to support your arguments. Instead of using placeholders like ';lkadjl;kfja,dnfa;lkfd.' and 'adf;lkja;ldkf.', include concrete examples to illustrate your points.
Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure to include a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. These components frame your discussion and provide a summary of your argument, adding to the coherence of your essay.
Essay Structure
Work on the structure of your essay. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a main idea supported by examples or further explanation.
Task Response
Consider both sides of the argument fully by discussing the opposing viewpoint more extensively, and then clearly state your own position on the issue.
Task Engagement
You provided a clear overview of both views on personal questions in job interviews.
Attempt at Support
You attempted to use examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: