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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the data on the prices of banana

The graph shows the data on the prices of banana
The line graph gives information about the number of
banan
Correct your spelling
banana
 selling
prices
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 in Japan ,France, Germany and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 over
decade
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a decade
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the four regions experienced different
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
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 in the time period .
While
Linking Words
 the
banana
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 selling
prices
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 in Japan ,
Farance
Correct your spelling
France
,Germany countries rose with same
flactuations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
 the over ten years As the graph shows
Japan
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Japan's
show examples
banana
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 selling
prices
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figure
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 started at 2.00
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 in 1994 followed
graduall
Correct your spelling
gradually
gradual
 increase to around 8.50
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 steadily their it
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
. That
figure
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at the end
Linking Words
 of
year
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banana
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 selling
prices
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rapid
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rapidly
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grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 2.60
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dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
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 in
2004
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the 2004
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year
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 Regarding ,France
banana
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 selling
prices
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 remained unchanged
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 four
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year
Change to a plural noun
years
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. And
then
Linking Words
 that
figure
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 a little decline in 1998 .
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 in 2004 go up
1.90
Change preposition
by 1.90
show examples
Use synonyms
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
 Germany and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
started
Replace the word
start
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 of
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year
Add an article
the year
show examples
 0.80
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dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
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 and 170
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dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
 in 1996. But
1995
Change preposition
in 1995
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year
Use synonyms
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 two
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 the same
prices
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
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.
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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Afterward
Add a comma
Afterward,
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 that line graph
flactuated
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
fluctuates
fluctuate
 between 1996 and 2002 .Turning to
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 the
prices
Use synonyms
 did not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words prices, banana, figure, dollar, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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