Competition for university is becoming increasingly strong. Why are universities becoming more competitive? Is this a positive or negative development?
In
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
time
, more universities become more and more competitive Fix the agreement mistake
times
thus
leading to the
Correct article usage
apply
scholarship
. This
writer believes that this
is a positive development due to
improvement
of quality.
It must be understood that having more competition can positively impact Correct article usage
the improvement
on
Change preposition
apply
students
. This
is especially so if the students
want to gain the
scholarships from their universities, they need to Correct article usage
apply
try
work harder and harder. As everyone Add the particle
try to
known
, the Wrong verb form
knows
university
environment requires students
more effort, more knowledge and more patient
. Replace the word
patience
Therefore
if they want to earn the scholarship
, at least they will reach at
the top of Change preposition
apply
class
even Add an article
the class
of
the fields. Taking Stanford as a primary example, Change preposition
in
this
university
is one of the dreams of everyone so many try to go there and earn scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
due to
the Correct word choice
high fee
fee
of Fix the agreement mistake
fees
this
school to high and it creates the
Correct article usage
apply
competitions
for everyone.
Another argument worth considering is that the competition in the Fix the agreement mistake
competition
university
can have a benefit for students
. When competing, the students
can gain more and more knowledge from other students
, if they cannot find the answer on
the body or some papers, they will ask for teachers so they can know more and have a thoughtful sight Change preposition
in
for
Change preposition
of
this
field. Therefore
, the quality of learning can be improved day by day so it will create a
fame for Remove the article
apply
this
university
.
Taking everything into account, there are more positive elements than negative ones, as there are clear benefits for individuals who can compete to gain the scholarship
. Moreover
, people can have a positive impact on quality
of their study.Correct article usage
the quality
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Structure
Your essay provides a good overview of the topic, but could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider organizing your ideas more distinctly in paragraphs, each with a singular focus.
Content
Including a wider range of examples and more detailed explanations would strengthen your argument. Aim to use specific instances that clearly support your main points.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Aim to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and succinctly summarize your main points in the conclusion.
Language Usage
Work on variety in sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement. This can also help in presenting ideas more clearly and making arguments more compelling.
Understanding of Prompt
You clearly acknowledge the positive impacts of competition within universities, which aligns with addressing the essay question.
Use of Examples
The example of Stanford University helps in supporting your main point, showing an attempt to use relevant examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.