In many countries are investing in new technology to deal with public. Why is this happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of government money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To deal with society, many
governments
of countries have invested in modern technological systems.
This
tendency is the consequence of the lack of civil servants and officials. Spending state budgets on
this
field is pertinent
due to
its security and conveniences. People, nowadays, think that working for
governments
as officials is boring and causing privation that why the number of civil workers continuously increased in recent years.
Moreover
, there are a few universities which train a few classy students each year is insufficient for the requirements of the residents.
By contrast
, most people want easy access to government information and management systems through online portals or applications. Technologies give them virtual environments for filling, updating and checking their personal licenses or citizen identification cards which can be done freely and conveniently. In future,
governments
may substitute all officials with artificial intelligence (AI) assistants which a part of the salaries of traditional workers are paid for. Electricity and development are two of the main costs when using these technological public facilities which are expected to be more economical than hiring amounts of workers.
Nevertheless
, applying A.I on receiving citizens restrict some phenomenon of bureaucracy or corruption, having positive effects on the residents. It is the technologies which help people save time and taxes so that using them for other more reasonable fields
such
as environment or education as all developed countries have done. The main reason for investing in new technologies in many
governments
is manpower shortages. Modern public machines like AI totally the most suitable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
state budgets.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language use
Focus on clarifying your main ideas with more concise language and avoiding repetition.
content balance
Consider balancing your argument by discussing more about the potential negatives or challenges of technological investments.
grammar
Work on sentence structure to avoid run-on sentences and improve readability.
insightfulness
Your essay engages well with the topic, providing interesting insights into the reasons behind investing in new technology for public administration.
use of examples
You made good use of examples to support your points, making your essay informative and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: